Constipated 30 Years

Come on, if you're constipated 30 years, that's the new normal for you. At that point you don't know any difference. Sure, you'd still have your memories that you used to go to the bathroom. But really, if you can make it 20 years, you can do anything.

But we have Alice Burns' testimony. 30 years with constipation, choked by souring food. Then she took some Adlerika and became a new person.

(Ad from Lyon County Reporter, Rock Rapids, IA, Jan. 11, 1934, p. 9.)

Uni, Roy, and Al

Whatever happened to Uni, Roy, and Al? They're seen here in a 1973 advertisement. I always hate it when we get to know these people, for example through their preference of Uniroyal tires, then they're gone and we never hear from them again.

36 Advertisers Drop Beck

I'm amazed at all the advertisers who've dropped out of Glenn Beck's show.

36! That's a lot!

I never saw his show. With so many advertisements when did he have the time to say all this crazy stuff?

As much as I'd love to see him kicked to the curb, I have a feeling he'll make it through this somehow. As we know from the bug world, cockroaches have a way of surviving.

Wow, A Free Calculator

I saw an AARP commercial for switching your car insurance. Call now and we'll give you a free calculator! [Cut to the shot of your basic 99 cent calculator.]

Is a calculator that huge of an inducement these days? What is this, 1974?

Career Builders Ad

I watched most of the ads on the Super Bowl, except whatever was playing when I was in the bathroom. And most of them were tolerable, but I have a few comments.

The one entirely intolerable ad this year was the one for Career Builders. It started and was disgusting from the get-go, then about 13-15 seconds into it I hit the mute button. That was the only one that got the mute tonight.

I thought hitting the mute at that point was a vain gesture, a worthless protest, but it turned out to be valuable. Because the commercial was a full minute -- it must have been, since it seemed to go on forever. Good riddance to that one, may it receive widespread shame.

The others? Some were a little too violent for my taste, people getting the crap beaten out of them. Some of them were too schmaltzy. For instance, I hate all of the Budweiser horse commercials, in which somewhere there's always a close-up of the horse's eye, meant to show his determination, a kind of pivot point in the ad where an important decision has to be made or an important move to influence the outcome has to be made. They're real likely ... and of course they always have a happy ending for the horse, but they're not satisfying (to me) on any level.

Horses don't run off and hunt for a denied love. Animals don't run away and live happily ever after. It's ridiculous.

A Beautiful Spiritual Accessory

Watching a little daytime TV today, which I simply don't do, I was amazed at some of the ads. They're very much like those little ads in the back of magazines come to life.

Zit medicine and novelty trinkets, including a cross necklace that has a tiny tiny version of the Lord's Prayer inside. Hold it up to your eye and you'll be stunned!

The phrase "spiritual accessory" was actually used to describe it. You too can have the Lord's Prayer close to your heart, as an external thing, dangling there, and always handy in case you forget what it says. You can lift it to your eye and read the little print.