Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts

Thursday, July 30, 2009

A Photo Finish For Their Relationship

A South Carolina gentleman has been charged with having sex with a horse ... for the second time. Leading us to guess he either has a thing for that particular horse or the poor animal always happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Someone -- all the details are described in the article -- secretly videotaped the incident.

The horse's name is Sugar and she's 21.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Deadliest Catch

Is it just my imagination or is the show "The Deadliest Catch" the only thing on TV? I walk through my living room when the TV's on and there it is, some guys up around Alaska trying to catch King Crab. Constantly!

The waves are splashing up over the boat. Bon Jovi's singing "Wanted Dead or Alive" like it's number one on the charts. There's several boats and they're apparently competing to see who can bring in the most crab. These boatloads of men are out to sea for eight months at a time, making me more curious about some of the intimate details of their lives than anything else they actually show.

But anyway, those are details we're not meant to know. I'm sure it would be embarrassing to them. Although the imagination can't help but run wild and also into some very familiar guesses. Maybe that would indeed be "The Deadliest Catch," were we to find out, and were some of the wives back on shore to discover what's really going on out there. Or maybe not...

I worry about this show. These guys are having a hard enough time catching all the King Crab needed for the current demand. They're on the verge of death half the time. If the whole world is following their exploits, won't it make us want to buy even more King Crab just to support them, hence creating even more demand, hence making their lives even more hectic, and making the deadliest catch even deadlier? I'm afraid we'll be killing them with kindness.

Then they might end up staying out 12 months of every year, only making it home on the extra day in leap year. At which time they show up, their wives have two or three kids they didn't know about. But by now they're madly in love with each other anyway. So they all go out, the lovers from the boat, the ex-wives and their on-shore lovers, and have a big dinner. Of course they go out for seafood, and you can guess what they order.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Release Your Inner Piranha

The way to do anything that maybe takes a challenge is to go at it with instinct and intensity. Release your inner piranha. Making love, decimating an enemy (like in sports), train yourself to the end and chow down.

How to do anything involving a weapon, let's say, make it part of your hand. Like David and the rock he flung at Goliath. When it leaves your hand, it's still in your hand all the way to the giant's forehead. Inner Piranha, away!