A Color Aquarium

Having an aquarium is a beautiful thing. It's like having a color TV with fish in it.

I remember when I was a kid, we just had a black and white set. But things have changed since then.

The fish are more beautiful in color.

Caught A Glimpse Of Alf

I was exercising last night at the exercise place. And I was trying to find a particular channel, one that had Andy Griffith on. I could see it across the room on one of the main TVs, but I'm not familiar with where any channel is on the TV there.

As I going at it, exercising and searching at the same time, I was pushing the channel UP button and getting the picture and moving on. In the process I caught a glimpse of Alf for about a second. I wonder what channel that was. Are they showing reruns of Alf?

It's funny I didn't stop on it. That was a favorite show of mine at the time, way back when. But the bottom totally fell out on my interest in it. My interest hasn't held even in the sense of it being a nostalgic favorite.

I wonder what the chances are of that. Since most things that we like from years ago, we still have a soft spot in our hearts for, and would want to see it a few times years later. But for some unknown reason that doesn't hold for Alf. Or Married With Children, which I was crazy for when it was first on. Really crazy for. No more.

I watched the Andy Griffith episode for a little while -- I didn't have any sound -- and even that was not very interesting (without sound). So I flipped over and was going to watch two women shooting pool, except I tuned in right at the end, so I saw one woman's last five shots, then she won a big silver cup and that was it.

TV with the sound off isn't very interesting. It's about the same as with the sound on.

The History Channel

You would think a channel called the History Channel would try to restrict itself to facts of what's already happened.

I barely watch it -- not that I don't like it; as channels go it's fine -- but I've seen they have various conspiracy theory stuff on there, Nostradamus, etc.

I was just looking at an article on Mayan mythology, that somehow predicts a time of some significance in 2012. Of course with our apocalyptic heritage, that's being turned into another end of the world scenario.

And apparently the History Channel is getting in on the act.

From the Huffington Post:

Another History Channel program titled "Decoding the Past: Doomsday 2012: End of Days" says a galactic alignment or magnetic disturbances could somehow trigger a "pole shift."

"The entire mantle of the earth would shift in a matter of days, perhaps hours, changing the position of the north and south poles, causing worldwide disaster," a narrator proclaims. "Earthquakes would rock every continent, massive tsunamis would inundate coastal cities. It would be the ultimate planetary catastrophe."

Maybe they should stick to what's already happened and steer clear of these oddball predictions. When we're all still here in January 2013, they can look back on "history" and say they were wrong.

Not One Second Of TV Today

I didn't see even one second of the Kennedy coverage today, which I know was probably wall to wall.

I don't usually watch much TV news -- since I think the commentators for the most part are a bunch of ignorant losers -- but I make a special point of avoiding it when there's a high level death. That I really hate.

So I wonder what I missed. My guess, nothing.

Tom DeLay On Dancing With The Stars?

This is another of the thousands of shows I don't watch.

But like everyone, I somehow hear the names of people who are dancing on it. Not all the names because a lot of celebrities' names I don't recognize. Like soap opera actors, except for "All My Children." Or the various B-listers from reality shows.

I saw one ad for "Dancing With The Stars" today and I distinctly saw that Tom DeLay(!) is going to be a contestant on it.

Tom DeLay? Can he dance? He's a Republican, right? What dance does he do, the Larry Craig Two-Step?

And he's "A Star?" The way I remember his ethics he ought to be starring in whatever stage shows they put on in prison somewhere.

The Deadliest Catch

Is it just my imagination or is the show "The Deadliest Catch" the only thing on TV? I walk through my living room when the TV's on and there it is, some guys up around Alaska trying to catch King Crab. Constantly!

The waves are splashing up over the boat. Bon Jovi's singing "Wanted Dead or Alive" like it's number one on the charts. There's several boats and they're apparently competing to see who can bring in the most crab. These boatloads of men are out to sea for eight months at a time, making me more curious about some of the intimate details of their lives than anything else they actually show.

But anyway, those are details we're not meant to know. I'm sure it would be embarrassing to them. Although the imagination can't help but run wild and also into some very familiar guesses. Maybe that would indeed be "The Deadliest Catch," were we to find out, and were some of the wives back on shore to discover what's really going on out there. Or maybe not...

I worry about this show. These guys are having a hard enough time catching all the King Crab needed for the current demand. They're on the verge of death half the time. If the whole world is following their exploits, won't it make us want to buy even more King Crab just to support them, hence creating even more demand, hence making their lives even more hectic, and making the deadliest catch even deadlier? I'm afraid we'll be killing them with kindness.

Then they might end up staying out 12 months of every year, only making it home on the extra day in leap year. At which time they show up, their wives have two or three kids they didn't know about. But by now they're madly in love with each other anyway. So they all go out, the lovers from the boat, the ex-wives and their on-shore lovers, and have a big dinner. Of course they go out for seafood, and you can guess what they order.

Conan

I don't watch much late night TV since I go to bed at 9:30. I get up at 5:30, so if I get to sleep right away, which happens much of the time, that's close to eight hours a night. I found that I need about that much sleep to be semi well-adjusted during the day.

Now that I'm an early to bed guy, that means I don't get to see all the stuff I used to like to watch, like the Daily Show and Colbert. Fortunately I can see bits of those shows online. I barely ever watched Jay Leno or David Letterman, at least in the last 10 years, and certainly couldn't stay awake for Conan after that. I used to ages ago. (How come no one ever mentions The Gaseous Wiener, one of my favorite characters from Conan's show?)

Now that Conan is on the Tonight Show, this week being the first, I've watched the first three episodes on Hulu. They're pretty funny. I liked the "Tweets of the Week" stuff, with a very over the top gruff guy reading mundane Tweets from celebrities. I didn't like the "In the Year 3000" bit even though I used to like the "2000" routine from years ago. So I skipped through that.

As for Andy Richter, it'd be better if he was over on the couch. And Max Weinberg looks great. I remember in 1993 when Conan came on being amused that his bandleader was a drummer.

The Natural Enquirer

I was watching some sharks on TV yesterday at Walmart. On high def TV, and the picture was pretty good. Sharks right in your face. And the intensity, concentration, and skill that the naturalists (swimmers) had was more boldly pronounced as well.

The whole thing of standing there reminded me of what my dad used to say about when TVs were first on sale. That people would stand by the store window watching. Well, I'm less of an enthralled viewer probably than they were back then, since we've all grown up with TV, but it does catch your attention when you see a picture so clear and up close. Engaging, yes, but I don't go to Walmart to watch TV per se.

They have lots of this stuff on TV, but I haven't got time to sit and watch TV anyway, whether I had high def or not. Plus, it's not just sharks that sometimes take an arm and a leg, but the cable TV companies as well. Every time I look at my bill it's gone up another dollar or so. Two years ago I know it was in the 85-dollar range, but the latest was over $100, and I haven't added any features or options. For me to get high def at this point, I'd have to waste a lot more time sitting by the TV to pay for it, and I know I wouldn't be any happier.

But this post is supposed to be about The Natural Enquirer, a scandal sheet for animals. Sharks, yes, they have plenty of scandal to talk about. I see one bit a kid's leg just the other day. Dogs walking by the house, not picking up their droppings. Just pooping on mother earth and letting it go.

Stung By Over 500 Bees

I don't usually watch the Animal Planet channel, except when it's on and the other person doesn't want to change the channel. The combination of the Crocodile Hunter and endless episodes of sick dogs and cats being rescued from squalor is enough to make me vomit.

Late this afternoon, though, I'm at the hospital, visiting someone's room, and what had to be on but the Animal Planet channel! The show was something about Animal Stories Extreme, a Marlin that jumps up and stabs a guy, a pelican dangling in midair by a fishhook, a dog in icy waters that bites his rescuer on the face, and a woman who was stung by over 500 bees while mowing her yard.

Good grief, stung by over 500 bees. They were in her mouth, in her clothes, all over her. It's enough to keep me in nightmares for the next 10 years. This is part of the reason I hate that channel.

But, I was thinking, I suppose if you can stand 350-400 stings, the last hundred has to be easy. Also, by the way, this would be the perfect premise (although very cliched) for her to be the Bee Lady with superpowers.