The Purpose Of Flowers

I used to be a big romantic when it came to nature. I think I still am, to a certain extent, but this is one of those areas where any amount of learning you do decreases your romanticism by the same amount.

When you think things are just there for some innocent reason it's one thing. When you take a class or someone tells you the actual truth, you go, "Oh, really?" It changes your mindset. So if you want to be truly happy, stay as stupid as possible. But now that I think of it, maybe you can just forget what you've learned and insist on the innocent reasons.

One example. Why not believe that flowers are just there to make God smile? Or to keep bees from being depressed? Those are good things. Then you're out in nature and you see a bunch of flowers, you think, Oh, how nice, God is smiling. Or the bees in this area must be very well adjusted.

I had it pointed out to me that the purpose of flowers is simply to make more flowers. It's like the sex life of flowers -- doing whatever, however they do it. The pistil is hot for the bulb or something. They have a three way with a bee. I don't know. I think I might've had a botany class but I don't remember precisely. Had to dissect a tulip one time. The teacher stuck a pin in its stem to put it to sleep. Standing there one second, the pin goes in, it conked out. I could barely look.

Now whenever I see flowers I'm thinking they're just there to make more flowers. It's a depressing thought, because you want them to be prideful along the way, not so extremely goal-oriented.