Old Candy Wrappers

I have a sad sight here at my left hand. A pile of old candy bar wrappers, the Fun Size kind. Snickers, Milky Way, and a few Three Musketeers. They're left over from the left over candy from Halloween. I've got it eaten. But the wrappers remain.

Snickers are good to let melt in your mouth, which is hard to do because we have a natural inclination to want to chew. Same thing for Milky Way. Three Musketeers is the most boring candy bar I can think of. It has to be my least favorite of the main candy bar brands. I don't think letting it melt in your mouth would make it any better.

If Three Musketeers was a car, it's be so stripped down, you'd think, Man, where's the radio? Does this car even have a glove compartment? How about a steering wheel? In other words, there's nothing to it. Chocolate on the outside. Then whatever that nougat stuff in the middle is called. And that's it.

Three Musketeers as a candy bar is like kissing your sister. Nothing happens and you'd just as soon it didn't anyway.

They show Three Musketeers floating away on their commercials, because they're so light. That's truth in advertising. Except when they float away I won't be running around trying to catch them.