Daylight Savings Time

It's tonight that we all get to go back in time.

We all get to live the hour from 1 a.m. to 2 a.m. twice. So if you die, let's say at 1:30 a.m., an hour later you have to wake up and die all over again.

Time and timekeeping is not a fiction. It is a cold hard fact. Everything depends on the clock. Were we not to have clocks, everything would come to an end.

The Followers You Lose

They're just cannon fodder. No one knows why they show up, no one knows where they go, no one cares.

Halloween Coming

Halloween always comes this time of the year. It's got this little block of time scoped out and claimed.

You go through the stores and see all the orange and black. Some of it's quite elaborate, meaning there's a lot of merchandising artists with good jobs somewhere.

It all has to be coordinated with the layout of the store, which in the case of some of the big ones, they have it down to an exact science. I wonder how far in advance all this has to be done. The Halloween division at the merchandising place cranks up, when? The day after Halloween for next year? I don't know. Then they get to take off from March till October 31, while the printing place is getting all the specs, cranking it out.

I see a piece, a big three panel presentation hanging from the rafters of a big store and wonder about the production angle to it, who all had to sign off on it at every step along the way before I could look up and see the finished product, a spider with some scary font next to it, words pointing me to the candy aisle.

Halloween deserves our best, though, so let's give all those people a hand! And a raise!

The Leaves Coming Down

I love seeing the leaves come down fast ... it's beautiful.

I was at the park today and the leaves were coming down so fast it was like snow. They were piling up everywhere, so there was nowhere to walk but on them.

There were leaves piled up at the bottom of the kids' slide. They hit the top of the slide and slid down.

Yesterday in about the same place but across the street, there were so many leaves coming off one tree it was stunning. The sun was coming from the west right through them and some of them were sparkling like fairy dust.

Tagalong Ted -- Non-Existent Cartoon Strip

Today's idea for a cartoon strip: Tagalong Ted, Fifth Wheel.

I can't think of much more than that. A guy with friends, relationship problems. "Hey, hey, hey," going stag again.

I can envision all the paperback books of collected cartoons. The Tagalong Ted, Fifth Wheel adult games sold at Spencer Gifts, etc.

The Secrets of Inner Beauty

What do I know about the secrets of inner beauty?

I think I know something about them. And whatever it is that I know, that I will delve into tomorrow on Grandma Slump. I'm getting strangely into a thematic approach.

I'm always a little freaked out by the word "delve." It's not a normal word, is it? I always picture sleazy guys saying it, "We're going to delve into the important lessons of life. Amen?"

And the word "glean" has to go with it. "Once we delve into the important lessons of life, Amen? Then we'll be able to glean from those lessons the things we need to know today."

Could someone shout hallelujah?

Laughing Uproariously

We were out to eat today and had one of most moments where something was funny -- so outrageously funny that we both were laughing uproariously, with tears in our eyes.

Except I have some control over this, so I was trying to tamp it down, so that she wouldn't create too much of a scene. It's fairly easy to keep someone laughing uncontrollably once they've embarked on it. But I wasn't taking those opportunities, because the ones around might've thought she was crying and in pain. And there I would be sitting, the mad abuser or something.

What was so funny doesn't sound funny when you tell it to someone else outside the context, of course. But I was still laughing about it an hour later when we left the restaurant.

Here's what it was. There's a display there of two turtles in succession. One's in front, one's in back. And I said, "What's the second turtle saying?" She said, "Don't fart." And I said, "Right, that's the answer." Then I added, in a turtle voice, "Keep a shell on it."

It still seems funny to me ... but I'm not quaking with tears in my eyes at this point.

A Romance Of Two Worlds

I'm reading an old book, "A Romance of Two Worlds," by Marie Corelli. It was published in the 1880s.

I was at a rummage sale and it was there. I passed it by the first day, even though it was only a quarter. It looked like a million other crappy old novels from the turn of the century, so I let it set there.

I was back the next day and decided to look through it. It seemed remarkably different on the pages I was sampling. It seemed like it had a religious, spiritual, even mystical bent to it. So I considered it a quarter well spent, and still do.

I'll write more about it when I get it read. I'm up around page 220 and it's a good read. It's old fashioned in lots of ways, of course, but still has an interesting theme and works it out in a memorable way.

There's a guy who seems to have super scientific/mystical powers, because he's tapped into the electricity within the inner person. He's come up with liquids that help induce mental or soul travel in the heavens and to Heaven itself. Naturally these experiences impact the lives of those who make the journey. Plus with regular attention to developing their inner electricity, they continue to prosper here on earth.

I just wanted to mention a few flaky things about it, though, tonight.

In the main character (the narrator's) journey through the heavens, she's briefly on a few of the planets in our solar system that are inhabited by happy people who don't have problems and don't doubt -- not one of them -- the Creator's existence. The planets include Venus, Jupiter, and Saturn. The rings of Saturn are some kind of electrical field that helps them have happiness. (Electricity is a force for great spiritual book in the book.)

The other flaky thing -- that I can think of -- is where the scientist (Heliobas) explains that the moon isn't really there in space. That it's an "electrograph," a kind of lingering electrical picture up there that we're looking at. It used to be there, but now it's not. I don't know why Corelli would've included something flaky like that. Or to say that the sun was a planet at one time where the people have now gone into its center. Hmm.

The book is very good though in other ways, at least I'm finding it interesting enough to keep reading it!

Adam Lambert's New Single

I hope Adam Lambert's new single is burning up the charts. I haven't looked it up.

I saw it was Number 1 on Amazon singles downloads the first day, but it's gone down since then.

It's called "Time for Miracles," and is from the movie 2012. It's got some good vocal pyrotechnics in it, which Adam is known for.

I'm looking forward to his album, which I think comes out Nov. 23.

I'm a little reluctant to advance order it, because I heard there was a deluxe version too, which I haven't seen information on yet. It might be one of those deals where you have to buy it three or four times to get all the songs. I hope not.

Bonnie Bramlett Albums

I listened and recorded two Bonnie Bramlett albums tonight, LPs.

I've never really paid any attention to her. I remember seeing the old Delaney and Bonnie and Friends albums, and hearing their hit, but that's about it.

But tonight I was looking through my albums, which I've gotten here, there, and everywhere -- thrift stores, garage sales, etc. -- and there were a couple of hers.

I read about them on All Music and they seemed to rate fairly well. These are "It's Time" and "Lady's Choice," which are albums in sequence, in that order of release. I don't know where I got them or how many years it might've been ago. But they're both promo releases and in really good condition.

Anyway, they're quite enjoyable to hear. The All Music people give "Lady's Choice" some demerits for the song selection and the duets. But I guess my ear isn't as jaded as musical experts. I enjoyed it quite a bit. When they said she turned it over to these other singers, I didn't realize it was duets. Until I saw the liner notes.

Good stuff.

Congress Crushed By Calls

Hmm, I hadn't actually heard of this. There was some organized effort to call Congress, everyone the same day. And today was the day, and the report is that Congress.

They met their goal of 100,000 calls and went on for 200,000.

So that's good news. I hope it does some good. It's stunning how obstinate Congress is, especially the guys on our own side, the Democrats, who we voted for. If I carried on my life like these guys do, turning their back on the people, I'd have a hard time showing my face in public.

I can't figure out the White House and President Obama, why they don't seem to be putting the screws to Congress for something we want. Wasn't it the President himself back in April who was ballyhooing the public option? I know it was.

All the "playing nice" I don't get. The Republicans are out to massacre us in 2010. They're not opposing this on philosophical grounds or for any good reason. It's all political posturing, hoping it will fail so they can take advantage of that. We need to massacre them first by being united and getting something done.

Balloon Boy's Balloon To Smithsonian

By a 13-12 vote, the directors of the Smithsonian Institute voted to induct the Balloon Boy's historic craft into their museum.

It will join, up in the rafters somewhere, the Apollo 11 capsule, the Wright Brothers' Kitty Hawk Eagle, other great planes, as well as James Stewart's Spirit of St. Louis.

Scholars will be studying it for years, looking for clues as to how such an inexperienced pilot, six year old What's-his-name was able to take it up and bring it back down so successfully.

No Twitter This Morning And Afternoon

That was a long time. Something like from 4 a.m. till (I dunno) 3 or 4 p.m., that either Twitter was down or something between here and there was down. It could be anything.

I got up and checked it like I usually do. A collection of people I don't know and won't know. It makes me wonder why (sometimes) I even waste my time on it.

I still haven't come up with an answer. But that's a good question for all this. Why not read the news, emails from family, family Facebook entries, and let it go at that? The rest isn't doing me any major good, that I know of.

Being off for all that time, I didn't get to Tweet anything. And I usually Tweet a few things. On one of my accounts I'm up over 900 Tweets, which is a lot to me. But being off, I didn't really miss it, and I didn't go and say anything once it came up.

Sick Puppies

I watched Rachel Maddow's story examining why President George H.W. Bush (the smarter one) called her and Keith Olbermann "sick puppies."

I thought Keith seemed to be taking it a bit personally, although he did cut the old guy some slack. It seemed to me that in his quote, the ex-pres was just naming a couple people who came to mind, not that he was necessarily singling them out as someone he has great knowledge of. Like he's heard others mention them, so he's saying their names.

Then Rachel had Ron Suskind on, who seemed to think Bush was actually being critical, between the lines of Fox News, and for some reason put their names in as a way of balancing things out. Like he doesn't really have a conscious and well thought out grudge against them, per se, but it's just shorthand for someone on "the cables."

And since his fatherly beef is with the news personalities criticizing Junior, of course he would likely pick ones who were more Democratic.

I don't know for sure. I'm no fan of the Bushes -- any of them -- but when they're old and crochety, like Senior seems to be getting, I'd take it less as an insult than as a thing to brag about. Out of all the people in the world, the former president called ME a "sick puppy."

I actually am "one sick puppy," but the President has never heard of me.

Finished "The Great Escape"

I was close, toward the end of the movie "The Great Escape," so I just sat and let it play out.

I hate to say anything about the end, since maybe someone else hasn't seen it. But, hey, it's over 45 years old, and not that many people read this blog anyway.

Of course I would've preferred a happier ending. It has a terrible ending, in my opinion. The problem is that it's more or less a true story. The escape and the aftermath actually happened, so there was no way to give it a decent Hollywood ending.

So you're left just admiring (I guess) their bravery and sense of duty in escaping. Never mind the terrible payoff. I have a hard time with that one. Because if they would've just sat tight in prison, they would've been OK and would've accomplished as much.

If it indeed is the "duty" of everyone to try to escape, that's fine. I'd say change the "duty." Once you're in prison, you're out of the game as far as what you're going to do "out there." Just sit tight and let the war end without you.

The building of the tunnel was quite an operation. But it seems like if you were brilliant enough to do all that work, you'd also be brilliant enough not to have it 20 feet short. Come on. I'm amazed that anyone could dig a tunnel surreptitiously, have it completely supported with wood, have a track to run a makeshift train shuttle on, have electrical lighting, and all the rest. Again, if you can do all that, you can measure the thing and make sure it's not 20 feet short!

As for being caught afterward, that was a major drag. Once you're out of the prison, your troubles have just begun.

Got Some Old Books

I got some old books at a garage sale in the neighborhood.

I didn't really need any of them, but they were a quarter each, so I picked them up.

One is a signed edition of a book by a guy named August Derleth. I wasn't going to buy this because it looks just like a generic novel from the '40s, "The Shield of the Valiant." But I thought, If I get home and look him up and he's really popular, and I had a chance to get a signed book by him, etc., and I don't do it... I'll be kicking myself, since it was only a quarter. It doesn't look especially gripping, and it's part of a series that I'll likely never own.

Next is "War Sketches and Incidents," with Iowa Commandery and Vol. II on the spine. Copyright 1897, looks to be about the Civil War. Doesn't look especially interesting either.

3rd: "My Four Years in Germany" by James W. Gerard. He was an ambassador to the German Imperial Court. The book was published in 1917. Too bad he didn't look up Hitler and kill him.

4th: "Wings" by John Monk Saunders. this is a book based on a movie by the same name, starring Charles Rogers and Clara Bow. There's a picture of them next to the title page. Clara Bow was the "It" Girl. And looking at the picture, she was very cute.

5th: "Creative Evolution" by Henri Gergson, translated by Arthur Mitchell. I have this book in the Modern Library edition. This book has a bookplate. It was No. 258 in "The Private Library of Charles Harrison Becker," dated Feb. 1918. The bookplate says this as well, "Books Are Among My Best Friends." Mr. Becker purchased this book on Feb. 23, 1918.

6th: "The Gold Rock of the Chippewa" by D. Lange. This is an Indian story, and it looks like D. Lange wrote several of them. Basically for kids.

7th: "Ginger Rogers and The Riddle of the Scarlet Cloak" by Lela E. Rogers, published by Whitman. A kid's story maybe. There's a sexy line drawing of Ginger in bed.

8th: And this book is considerably newer than the others, "Jesus" by Deepak Chopra. From 2008. Hope it's worth a quarter. I will probably actually read this one.

Texas Governor Rick Perry

How does a governor who takes a role in executing an innocent man, then covers it up, have any chance of being reelected? The people of Texas have some sense, don't they?

How does a governor who actually advocated that his state secede from the United States have any chance of being reelected? How can you be considered a patriotic American citizen if you don't want your state to be part of the United States?

Gov. Rick Perry is totally corrupt. He should pay the price for it. Electorally and legally.

Pebbles, Nibbles, Troubbles, And Abbilities

Perhaps I will say a few things. It's not habit forming, they say. And anyway, I can quit anytime I want.

I'll just check in, then I'll be gone. Must exercise some discipline lest I waste my whole day. That won't happen.

Speaking of discipline, I must not eat too much for lunch. That's a terrible thing. Then I get very tired.

But that's a bridge I'll cross when it floats by. Until then, I have this other struggle, my reluctance to get out of this chair.

It doesn't matter, ultimately, if I sit here an extra five minutes. Or maybe it does. If every pebble in a pond changes the earth's course.

I could've spent the last hour reading. I should've. But don't beat yourself up all the time. Good grief. "Could've, would've, should've."

The little pebbles I throw in the pond don't seem to change the earth that much. Maybe I'm not throwing them hard enough.

Technically how big can a pebble be? That might be the problem. I need bigger pebbles.

Boulder-sized pebbles. I could do some real damage with those. Get me one of those medieval catapults, fend off the sheriff and police.

They're going, "We can't stop this guy. He has a year's worth of boulders lined up." What about when he sleeps? "Oh, yeah, that might work."

I must not let it go that far ... I'll just sit here, dangling my feet in the water, playing with this toaster ... throwing pebbles.

The word "nibble" and the word "pebble" are similar. Is there something about "bble" that means small?

If there is, and you have small trouble, it'd be "troubble." But if it's major, leave out a B.

I'm "abble" to do a particular task, but my "abbilities" are limited. I'm "able" to do a particular task if my "abilities" are great.

The more B's you put in, that's the degree that you are "abbbbbbble" or "able" to get the job done.

So a tiny bite when you're fishing is a "nibbbbbbbbble" and a normal one is a "nibble."

A little bit of talk is "babble." Just a nibbling of babbling would need a few more B's.

There's an argument to be made for it.

Dog Poop Conjunctions And Coincidences

I feel I can attract more followers if I do a blessing over my ENTER key before sending every tweet. Bless you, dear words as you go. ENTER.

I faced a strange conjunction -- a dozen different coincidences -- involving my dog, neighbors, their dog, and my dog pooping that second.

If any one little thing had been different -- and there were a thousand variables -- it would've never happened. [Bless you, ENTER key.]

I saw the people coming from a block and a half away but didn't realize they were the neighbors, so I crossed the road, which I never do.

This put them coming from the block down, cutting across, and meeting me right at their corner. My dog pooped, then the dogs tangled.

My dog leash is tangled around the back of the woman's legs, I'm meeting the boyfriend in the dark for the first time. And the poop is lost.

There I am then, with a weak flashlight, and enough poop-colored leaves scattered around, making the perfect camouflage for poop.

The only good thing that came out of it...It's an ice breaker at parties? ...I'm looking at my dog. None of that had to happen. My fault.

I'm like The Who smashing their guitars and drums at the end of a concert. I smash my keyboard every night before bed. I have many new ones.

So here goes my keyboard. Goodnight. sadoi32 DKLJWE[ kk e P;DLGFMSDO kjfds dhp32rnl sfsdklsdk12130rgg3fkf03w2 kaput

Unwrapping Little Caramels

It's time consuming to unwrap these tiny little caramels. I need the discipline to make each one last, so I'm not unwrapping so many.

It's weird that you need to unwrap 100 little caramels to make caramel apples. They need to have one big chunk in plastic wrap instead.

Maybe that's what I should invent: "Grandma's Slump Massive One Chunk, Easy Unwrap Caramels," "Quality from our kitchen ... to your mouth."

Caramels are a dangerous thing to eat, though. Thanks to dental fillings. I keep chomping on them hoping I don't notice anything crunchy.

I remember we used to get some kind of chocolate caramels. But all Walgreens had was some weird brand, "Harvest Faire." Never heard of it.

By the way, it's "Walgreens" without an apostrophe. I was sitting there the other day thinking, That'd be a great bit of trivia to tweet.

Maybe not. It looks less interesting in print that it did in the grand sweeping majesty of the imagination I take with me on the road.