A Terrific Week For Andy Williams

Look at this Billboard chart from May 25, 1963, monaural albums, just the top 10 of a larger chart.

What a terrific week for Andy Williams! Number 1 and Number 10, two separate albums. At that point "Moon River & Other Great Movie Themes" had already been on the chart for over a year and it was still in the top 10! Along with other long-termers "West Side Story" and "Peter, Paul & Mary."

Andy's success back then explains his perennial presence at every Goodwill and Salvation Army story in the world today. Because a lot of his fans who were buying LPs back then are now dead. His albums are everywhere!

Just looking again, Peter, Paul & Mary have two albums on the top 10 too.

The Elvis album at number 4, "It Happened At The World's Fair" is an LP you never see these days. I don't think I've ever seen one at Goodwill. His LPs are not usually there, maybe because people have the suspicion that they're collectable. They are, of course. The ones I do see are always beat to death ... and they're not collectable.

The album at number 9 is the one with Frank Fontaine's goofy character's face on the front, Crazy Guggenheim. I've had it, maybe I still do somewhere. And I saw it in the bins at some point in the last six months.

All in all, it was a great week for Andy! And several others.

It's Pat Robertson Time Again!

We've just had another massive earthquake, this one in Chile.

Meaning, of course, we've once again entered Pat Robertson territory, who we can expect at any minute to make his appearance.

I'm hoping to steal some of his thunder, so I'm feverishly checking the records of various national curses from the 1400s. But the data is hard to come by. Even Google's records aren't that reliable from so far back.

So we might have to wait on Pat after all. For him the 1400s were just last week, or his constant reality, so he'll no doubt have the inside scoop long before the rest of us!

But I'm definitely working on it and wondering ... Was there some ancient chieftain down there -- and it doesn't have to be the 1400s, it might be earlier or even later -- who made a pact with the devil -- that might just now be coming due?

We're looking in to it!

Land Of The Dead

I've been to three funerals this month. The latest being today, with the death of a friend's father.

I was sitting on a chair that was much too close to the guy next to me. Because that's where the usher put me. But the chair to the left of that one was open. I was leaving it in case the usher brought someone else to put there. Then when the service started, I moved over.

I was feeling very tired. I guess I got to bed a little too late last night. When we had prayer, I felt like I could almost fall asleep. But I definitely (of course) caught myself, thinking how bad it'd be to be heard snoring in a funeral. So I looked up instead.

When I got there I had on two coats, my outer, thicker one, then a lighter sweatshirt. I was going to hang up the outer coat only and wear the sweatshirt in. So I hung it up, then the lady at the door told me I could hang my coat up, meaning the sweatshirt. I looked at it and it was filthy, with some cat hair and dust on it. So I hung it up too. 

The Republicans' Cynical Obstructionism

How can any sane person take the Republicans seriously? They are so obviously opposed to any progress in this country, and as far as I can see they're not even trying to hide it anymore.

To the Republicans, if anything is being done that might bring an ounce of benefit to President Obama, they're against it. And they're willing to crow about it far and wide.

I just saw John Cornyn on one of those crappy cable news interviews. No matter what they said to him, he spun it as something terrible that we would have anything the president might want. Then there was Ben Stein, and the same thing. Then there was another Republican, and at that point I turned it off without hearing one syllable out of his lying mouth.

I was just reading that Newt Gingrich now thinks that majority rule in the Congress is some kind of anti-American plot. Of course we all can remember very well the Republican years, when they were singing a different tune. Just speaking for myself, I don't remember very many incidences of them looking out for the minority party's interests and opinions.

Note to Congress: We need decent health care reform. Kick the obstructionist Republicans aside. It is obvious to one and to all that they are not interested in contributing positively to the effort. This effort or any other. Get it done. Do it. Vote already!

No Sheet Sherlock

This is not about Sherlock Holmes, but a different Sherlock, whose big thing was to join the Ku Klux Klan but not have to wear a sheet. Meaning he would be called "No Sheet Sherlock."

It's not that lame (maybe it is). Different people have different principles. Just because Sherlock hated everyone except white people didn't mean he was a terrible person generally. Maybe he had a bad upbringing, or maybe he was hit in the head with a baseball and was never right after that. He just wanted to stick with his own and let his own stick with him. All others could butt out!

But joining the KKK wasn't really something he sought. He just fell into it really. Some guys were organizing a big march against immigrant restaurants, black owned diners, Jewish stores, and so forth. Everything that was something that they hated.

(This isn't funny.)

Anyway, one of the guys knew Sherlock and knew that he'd been hit in the head and wasn't quite right, so they brought him along. But Sherlock didn't want to wear a sheet. He didn't want his face and head to be covered up, no matter what. That's the one thing he refused to do. "I'll ride with you, I'll string people up, I'll burn crosses on the lawn, but I will not put one of those sheets on my head."

(This is really lame.)

So that's how we got him, No Sheet Sherlock.

(OK, enough.)

Dance

Roll your hands in front of you like they're in a furry hand muff. Throw the right hand out and bring it back. Throw the left hand out and bring it back. Roll them again, repeating as the beat demands.

The Feminine Facebook

Has anyone else noticed that Facebook is a very feminine thing?

At least it is with my account -- and I'm a guy. I have a number of men friends on there, but it's mostly the women friends who do the sharing.

I started noticing this fairly early on but it's gotten more obvious as time's gone on. The other day I had the entire screen -- my recent messages, etc. -- and everything with two small exceptions was written by women.

What are all these gals writing about? A lot of it has to do with games they're playing. I have quite a bit of this blocked so I don't see everything. They're playing a farm game of some sort, meaning they need to beg each other for a chicken coop or a cattle prod or something. Plus they're busy commiserating with each other over doctor's appointments and bad news. Or giving each other hearts and flowers, hugs and all kinds of nice thoughts.

It's a very feminine place. Very sweet, tender stuff.

Watching "Blue Hawaii"

I've going through my stack of Elvis Presley movies, watching one after the other.

There's some I don't plan on watching, like "Love Me Tender" or any of the more depressing ones. Any where Elvis dies, gets beat to a pulp, is a juvenile delinquent, or in prison are not my favorites. I may be a minority voice, but I definitely prefer the more happy go lucky movies where there's a good time involved.

Of course even in the good time movies, there's conflict. That's natural to a story. But I like my conflict on the easy side, not the sour stuff that shows Elvis in a bad light. Like his Daddy wants him to go into his business but Elvis wants to be independent. That's the kind of conflict I can tolerate.

Right now -- while exercising mornings and evenings -- I'm watching "Blue Hawaii." This is a good film. There's a lot of good songs and scenery. There's the guy who played Floyd the Barber. Angela Lansbury is Elvis' mom.

Maybe the worst part of the movie is the fact that the girl from the tourist group is pursuing Elvis, and she's underage. To his credit, when she kisses him he pushes her away. Still it's kind of nasty. Then he gets into a fight concerning her and ends up in the jail. That's where I am now, right at the place where his disappointed Daddy has to come bail him out. Bad conflict.

Of course it all works out in the end. But there's some more unpleasantness involving this particular bratty girl, then the teacher with Elvis, before he finally ends up with his true lady love in the film.

My Dog's A Senior

That has to be tough, the whole dog years thing that dogs face. You're a puppy one day, a toddler the next week, an adult in six months, and applying for Social Security when you're seven or eight.

The dog food I buy my dog, Iams, has a "seniors" variety for dogs over seven. And my dog's actually going to be 11 this summer, so she ought to be on life support. Except she actually acts fairly youthful for such an old age.

We still call her a puppy.

It's Oppressive To Be Full

I ate too much. Shouldn't have. It's not usually as good a thing as you think it's going to be.

Instead of feeling good, I feel heavy, lethargic. And this is after a really good nap today, a lengthy one. Sometime after lunch and some other official duties, I got the sudden feeling of tiredness. I lay down and immediately went to sleep, in a sleep that seemed like it lasted quite a while. But it couldn't have been two hours.

I went to the grocery store and got some ham, bread, peaches, baked beans, and ice cream. Then when I got home I had some of each thing, two sandwiches and all the rest. Weighty, as it turned out.

So I'm sitting here, not exactly fresh and able to get much done. I'm sitting here in a kind of heavy fog. Not sad, but feeling overwhelmed.

It's Almost Time For Spring Cleaning

I have it as my pre-Spring resolution to get my possessions thinned out.

I have a basement full of stuff. Some that I want to keep, some I will be getting rid of. The way I want to get rid of it, though, isn't selling it piece by piece on eBay, which would take forever, but by giving to thrift stores.

I hate though to overwhelm them. Now I'm wondering how much stuff is allowable to haul to a thrift store. I'd hate to show up with 100 boxes of stuff. Which would probably be an overestimate of what I have.

It is important to me to thin out. I have so much stuff, it's ridiculous. If I ever were to move, I don't know that I could. I'd be bogged down on the highway.

Incognito

I saw an unmarked bus traveling by. They're usually marked. A big bus logo. Something pertaining to the famous passengers. Something about the team, in those cases.

This one was completely unmarked. It was the White Album of buses, definitely traveling incognito.

Barney Fife voice: "Nito, In-cog-nito."

'50s commercial voice: "Kids! It's Neato! In-cog-neato!"

Joe Friday: "My name is Nito, In-cog-Nito."

The Day The Earth Stood still: "Klaatu barada incognito."

Curling

I was exercising at the exercise place tonight. I didn't have any headphones, so I couldn't hear it, but I was watching curling in the Olympics.

I guess I saw this a few years ago too but I wasn't paying that close of attention. I didn't realize several things about it, or I'd forgotten, that they're trying the knock the other guys' "thing" out of the target area. That was fascinating. I really enjoyed it.

I don't know all the rules (any of them really) but I could guess certain things. 1) You can't touch the "thing" while it's in motion. They really doing a lot of work to clear a path, make it go faster or slower, etc. What a job!

That was interesting. It was U.S.A. versus Japan. I don't know who won.

I'm A Ding Dong Daddy From Dumas

Here's a song we used to sing around my house, for some reason. But with this one Louis Armstrong says, "You oughta see me do my stuff," and we used to sing "You oughta see me do my thing."

To me, wherever this song entered my consciousness is in the shrouded memories of the past, which I don't remember because they are so shrouded. Maybe it was on an old cartoon. We used to hear the song "Is You Is or Is You Ain't My Baby?" on a cartoon and thought it was pretty funny. Also memorable.

Any of that old stuff. There was another one I was thinking of, like "Mama Don't Allow No..." although that's usually a country type of song. But it seems like I heard an R&B version of it just recently. "We don't care what Mama don't allow, we're going to pick our git-tar any old how!"

Check out the video above. The guy who made that video has numerous others, some obscure old 78 rpm records that are treasures.

Valentine Marshmallow Treats

It's tough to eat these slowly.

I had a whole box and now they're already gone. They just melt in your mouth, not exactly on contact but with a little help from your chewing mechanism.

They go down quickly though, without much effort. I keep thinking, Make it last, why swallow them so fast? But it doesn't do any good. You get the taste, then down the hatch.

Very tasty. Being a Valentine's item, they won't be on the shelf after today.

Little Debbie "Be My Valentine Marshmallow Treats."

Happy Birthday Again, Peter Tork

I wished Peter Tork a happy birthday here last year on this very day, Feb. 13. Because it is Peter Tork's birthday.

How do I know that? From a long time ago when I was a teenager, and it's something I simply haven't forgotten.

He's still out there, by the way, performing. He's on Facebook, with other people wishing him happy birthday.

Would you like it to have hundreds of strangers wishing you happy birthday? I personally don't think I'd enjoy that at all. But he's been famous (or semi-famous) all these years, so he must be used to it. Still, it must be terrible. The price of fame. I would hate it.

Anyway, he's a part of my consciousness and I'm not a part of his, so that makes me a perfect stranger. LOL. Be that as it may, my consciousness can't forget. February 13 is Peter Tork's birthday. That's all it is, except it's also the day before Valentine's Day.

So ... Happy birthday again, Peter Tork. And all the best to you, from a perfect stranger, an old fan.

Nice Note To Mom

Mom, you've been like a mother to me.

Writing Something On A Particular Day

I'm going to be stating a few obvious things that don't really need to be stated. But some days, like today, I start thinking like this. I'm lightheaded today, almost faint. I don't know what's going on. But if it goes on for more than one day, like a week, I'll get it checked out.

Everything that I write is written on a particular day. That's one thing. And this goes for other folks as well. Some things of course are written over a lengthier period of time. Like a novel might be written over a week, a month, a year, or longer. But each paragraph, each word, was written on a particular day.

This little post, which will disappear as soon as I hit the "Publish Post" button, was written (is being written) this day, Feb. 12, 2010. (Hey, that's Abraham Lincoln's birthday. And since we had his 200th birthday last year, this must be his 201st.)

I have lots of other little posts. Occasionally I see them, like if I'm searching for a link to something to wrote one time, and I'll see when it was written. Like Aug. 4, 2008, just to take a random date from the fairly recent past. I don't know that I wrote anything that day, maybe I didn't. But let's say I did. Right now, without looking somewhere where it might be written, I don't remember what was going on that day. Just like I'm likely to forget today.

So not remembering a day, I'm not 100% on what my mood was that day, etc.

We're all in the same boat. Mark Twain, William Faulkner, all us famous authors. We write what we write on a particular day, and it gets read sometime later -- especially in the case of authors before the internet.

I think John Keats died when he was 25. So everything he wrote -- and I mean everything -- was written before his 26th birthday and before he died.

Your Sole Purpose In Life

Someone keeps trying to post this comment at my blogs: "It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others." Then they attach a link to it to whatever their website is.

The reason I keep rejecting it is because of the link. I don't want to be directing people to some weird website. I myself haven't clicked it because I'm very suspicious of all such things.

So there, your comment has been posted. But just looking around the internet, I see this comment is repeated over and over. So now it's been said one more time. Let's look at it:

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

I think the quote stinks. That's your "sole purpose in life." That's really a cheerful sentiment. What am I, a guard dog? A guard dog usually stands as a warning to others, but even a guard dog, you wouldn't say that's his "sole purpose." Because he might provide the junk yard owner with some companionship. Maybe he'll rescue the guy from a nest of bees in an old Studebaker, grabbing him by the belt and pulling him all the way to the hospital.

So, to whoever keeps posting this. Let this be a warning. It's not going to make it with the link attached. My sole purpose in life is to express and adhere to this policy.

Hey, look at that gnarly guy over there! His sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to me. Poor guy, existing in such a terrible way just as a warning. They could've put up a sign and spared him the misery of life.

What Punk Rockers Think About All Day

What do punk rockers think about all day?

Mostly maggots, they think of maggots. And barbed wire, razor blades, electric fences, and pain. They think about thrashing about, hitting their heads against each other and other hard surfaces.

To them, it's nothing to dwell among the dregs, to make every experience as bitter as possible, to excite themselves with a quick gouge to the eye or to poke a knife in their leg.

They might get drunk and get a tattoo of something feral on their face. Tattoo artists see them coming and know they either give in or get their trailer trashed. They'll start their tirades if they're denied.

Everything to them is negative, a chance to laugh at normality, which, strangely, they appear to recognize.

The rest of us, if we looked at a policeman cross-eyed, they'd have us in chains and big tight cuffs. But these punk rockers can drive by at 100 mph, fingering everything in their wake, living it up, and railing to high heaven, making garbage out of everything in their path, and no one lays a hand on them.

It's all nihilism and hedonism, self-inflicted pain and suffering, and inflicting it on others. A quick knife to the gut, to them that's their idea of glory.

I Was That Close To 500 Posts

I know I'm going to get there, 500 posts. I thought I was there. I was, virtually.

I had 499 posts. Then I got to thinking, sometimes Blogger screws up and you get unnecessary "draft" posts, an earlier or later version of something else you wrote, that wasn't posted yet the master copy was.

So, curiosity killed the cat, they say. I decided to look, hoping against hope there wouldn't be any "draft" posts. Because, once again, I was at 499. One more would be 500, 500 years of posting, five centuries of blog entries, enough posts to put me back to the time of Christopher Columbus!

It turned out there was like six of these stinking "draft" posts, dropping me to 493, a significant downfall.

Death to tyrants. If you meet the tyrant on the road, kill him!

My Big Bold Prediction

With winter being something of a bear, but not hibernating, I'm going to go out on a very cold limb and predict something. I'm predicting flooding in the spring.

The snow is 10 feet deep at the shallowest place. We're able to clean our chimney just by walking up to it. I'm locking my upstairs windows now just to keep people out. It's ridiculous.

It's about time, not that it's getting warm yet, to go to the basement and make sure everything is up off the floor, because I'm sure there will be more than a trickle of water when the time comes.

So that's my prediction, and here's my advice. Get the sandbags out now. Maybe make a few sandbags everyday and have them stacked up somewhere handy. Avoid the rush later.

The Gallery Of The Absurd

This is a blog that I visit frequently -- The Gallery of the Absurd.

It's a very funny site, in which the person (I always say "guy") -- in which the guy posts graphics, pictures of the various absurdities you find in advertisements, on signs, etc.

One of my "favorite" features, that is often "featured" there is the use of "unnecessary" quotation marks. Like this sign: Through this door pass the "very best" transportation security officers. Quote unquote, someone thinks they're the "very best," or someone's simply being ironic, wink wink. "Very best," yah, sure.

Another recurring feature has to do with clowns, funny, ridiculous, or even terrifying images of clowns. I personally don't have a problem with clowns. But of course I wouldn't allow one to be alone with my children. Who would? A recent one is one that the guy describes as "a turd with a cowboy hat." LOL! I love that.

It's worth checking out ... frequently.

Bad Puns (Or Something)

The Hisson Hearse Company.

Forensics - Four Insects.

The Yukon (a vehicle) is good for humorous people (yukkin').

No One Complains If You Clean Up After Your Dog

I always think if I saw a shiny quarter in someone's yard I wouldn't touch it, because technically it's on their property, it's theirs. Or it should be presumed to be theirs, just like a lawnmower or a grill on their property should be presumed to be theirs.

I would be very careful about taking anything out of someone's yard. They might see you from the window and come running out with a gun. Or call the police. People do look out the window, too. I did it today, and this is a real coincidence. I went over and glanced out the window and happened to see a guy I know driving by ... at that very second. Let's say I look out the window 5 minutes of the day -- various glances here and there at random throughout the day. If I just happen to look out and see this particular guy drive by, the chances of that are remote.

Anyway, if they looked out it might look like you were sneaking something that belonged to them out of their yard. Which I wouldn't want to happen.

But no one complains -- I've noticed this -- if you clean up after your dog. I've got a bag and it's clearly a bag for cleaning up after my dog. The big complaint they'd have is if you didn't. And again, my presumption is always that someone's looking out their window when I'm walking by.

Innernalia

It looks like this word (which I don't think really is a word) is a foreign word but not an English word.

I was thinking of it just before I went to sleep last night, so I messaged it to myself on my phone so I wouldn't forget it by morning.

It's kind of a mixture of paraphernalia and inner realities. The suffix of paraphernalia, meaning the things pertaining to something. Bacchanalia would be another good example.

I'm interested in my own innernalia. And my externalia as well. But that's getting a little personal!

Elvis' Short Songs

I got the soundtrack CD of Elvis Presley's "Double Trouble" film today. It's strange but true, and terrible to reveal, but I don't believe I've ever had this album before. I don't know what it is about "Double Trouble," but it's both a film and a soundtrack album (LP, cassette, 8 track tape, and CD) that seemed to elude me.

I got the film then a couple years ago when they released a whole bunch of budget Elvis movies on DVD. Then today, just today, I got the CD. So that took me a long time.

This CD is "Spinout" and "Double Trouble" together. They were put out as "Double Features" some years ago, and this particular CD treats those two together as part of the "Original Elvis Presley Collection," making this one Number 25. So I can't figure that out exactly, since they were much later paired and weren't "original" in the same sense that I normally use the word.

I already had "Spinout" on LP but in no other format, which I had made into MP3s.

Now I have both soundtracks on CD, so that's a good advance, in my opinion.

The thing that first strikes me is the shortness of the songs. They have the timings on the back. There's 18 tracks, and 12 of them are under 2 minutes! That's stunning. It seems like they could've recorded longer versions somehow, even if they only needed a minute or so for the movie. But I guess not.

Speaking of "Spinout," I heard the sessions recordings on this one some years ago, and "Adam and Evil" was tough for Elvis to record. I think they only got one or two good tracks out of around 18 takes. He kept messing up on one part. So with that kind of track record, it might've been tough to record longer versions!

As far as the songs go, I like them a lot. I know it's not a normal opinion to like Elvis' movie songs, but I always do. Of course there are some better than others. "Old MacDonald" isn't a great one. But the others are all good. They just need to be longer.

YouTube's 10 Minute Limit

Doh!

I thought I saw plenty of YouTube videos that were over 10 minutes. I knew it used to be 10 minutes but I thought they changed that.

So I made an MP3 of a record today, which is 13+ minutes, and thought I'd put it on YouTube. Then I find out, No, they haven't changed the maximum time.

The maximum time is only extended for someone with a "director's account." So unless you're name is Alfred Hitchcock, you're out. I didn't look at the rules, so I don't know if you actually need a notarized letter from a major Hollywood studio. If so, I might have trouble getting one.

Yes, I'm a director for Behemoth Pictures, and we're going first release on this hot new production, an MP3, on YouTube. The big shafts of lights are gleaming and searching the skies. The premiere is here!

As Big As Icicles Can Get

I saw a really big icicle yesterday somewhere. It was hanging off a building, like they do, but it had dripped down and frozen about as far as it could go. It was very very close to touching the snow on the ground. The snow, you should know, is several feet deep. So it isn't the actual ground it's getting near.

It made me think about stalagmites. They're the ones, the rock formations, that go up if I have that right. It seems like the teachers used to tell us the one that ends in "tites" has to "hang on tight," so that would be the one going down. Thank goodness for helpful little reminders like that.

The icicles had accumulated outside my bathroom window. Now I see most of them are gone. We did have a few warm days a week or so ago, so they must be gone from then. But there are still plenty of big ones all over the town. The ones I saw yesterday were just a sample.