In Jail For Yawning

When will the next Supreme Court vacancy be? I have the perfect guy to be our next justice. Since the Republicans hate empathy, Judge Daniel Rozak ought to suit them perfectly.

Who could have less empathy than Judge Rozak, who threw the book at an Illinois man, Clifton Williams, for yawning in his courtroom. That's right, yawning. Or maybe he blinked too many times, or scratched his ear, or sneezed. Whatever it was, he got jail time.

What if he did all four at the same time -- yawned, blinked, scratched, and sneezed? I know a sneeze and a yawn at the same time would be very offensive to me. I'd probably put him in solitary confinement.

Later, reviewing his sentence, Judge Rozak asked Williams if he had anything to say. Deciding that mere words couldn't express his contempt for Rozak's court, and having feasted on a plate of boiled cabbage earlier that morning, he farted.

Judge Rozak immediately had Williams lynched.