It was:
You might call me a group dynamologist and a grange dancologist. With an interest in sexual tension. And farmers' daughters.I'd love to explain about this. I'm doing Twitter with my Grandma Slump persona. As vaguely defined as that persona is. I go through days wondering about it occasionally. The fact that no one else is wondering makes it my own concern.
Recently, from April to the end of July, I was "on hiatus," during which I went on and on about that. Now I'm casting about for another theme that will be easy enough to write about on a daily basis while bringing in some weird bits of humor. I try to take how I normally think and give it about five twists. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes not. But I keep tweaking it, since my funnier ideas come after I've hit the post button.
My big idea for the foreseeable future is a toughie. But I'm going to make it easier by not being entirely consistent. I don't really know how to do fiction in any kind of orderly way. So it's going to be a mixture of teaching about group dynamics and a secret, nefarious society that has their roots in the local grange. I'm picturing these characters as the ordinary folks who go to the grange, but they're very far gone as far as looking down their noses at other people and wanting to maintain strict group coherence.
Why and how all this is meant to exist in an actual human setting is probably going to be my downfall. But maybe it's a magical place like Brigadoon, only the very moral characters of this society are also rotten and evil to the core. I'd love to have easily-accessible farmers' daughters, but I've also defined most of them as informants and not really that interested in relations with outside entities. But there may be one or two. This is probably what will happen. I will find one or two who have moral issues with immorality and decide to be immoral in other ways. But how am I going to discern their intentions? That's a direction to go for sure.
On the other hand, I'm over 50 and the typical farmer's daughter who wears those hot farmer's daughter shorts we all love is going to be looking for someone younger. It could be, though, that with the high rate of informants among their possible beaus that they don't know where to turn. (I need to keep it clean, though, because I don't do blue material.)
Now, the grange people are very moral. But they also use obviously immoral means to root out those who have come among them who are not sincere and concerned with group coherence as they demand it should be. These means include orgies and all kinds of other apparent looseness. It's all done for their own moral ends, which would be immoral to the rest of us.
Where's the group dynamics angle come from? I'm interested in group dynamics even though I don't have any formal training in the subject. But still, I figure my theories and conclusions are just as good as anyone's. Just because I'm not parroting the normal academic line doesn't mean my conclusions are inferior. I feel like I need to take academic inbreeding to task anyway. They're always looking down their nose at us laymen, who could probably kick their flabby butts if it came to fisticuffs. In this case, I would aver, might makes right.
We were out to lunch the other day and I wrote the "Vague Tweet" while sitting at the table in a fancy restaurant. It gave me a thrill, like a bolt of electricity that started in one heel and went up to my knee, then from my knee to my [that area]. Then from [that area] up to the chest and so forth. Then it was repeated in the other leg. To make a long story short, I ended up with my shirt unbuttoned and was daubing my sweaty chest with the fancy cloth napkin soaked in my iced tea. [I'm doing my persona again, fell into it.]
But I want to give credit where credit is due. I couldn't think of the word that would become "dynamologist." I was asking, "What would be the word, a fake word, for someone who studies group dynamics?" Because I was thinking "dynamicist," which didn't look right. [I love all this self-referential BS, of which every word is true.] The woman I was with -- yes, I was with a woman -- suggested "dynamologist" and I said "That's perfect." Sending off my tweet, we both soaked our sweaty chests and sent for refills.
Now, of course I know that when the "Vague Tweets" guy or gal (but waiters call both men and women "guys," so I guess I can too) saw my tweet, he or she no doubt thought it was just some random crap that meant nothing. But it's not that vague if you know the back story! One thing about it, though, I don't believe I had the evil grangers in mind quite yet. Just the farmers' daughters.
