Friday, January 16, 2009

The Natural Enquirer

I was watching some sharks on TV yesterday at Walmart. On high def TV, and the picture was pretty good. Sharks right in your face. And the intensity, concentration, and skill that the naturalists (swimmers) had was more boldly pronounced as well.

The whole thing of standing there reminded me of what my dad used to say about when TVs were first on sale. That people would stand by the store window watching. Well, I'm less of an enthralled viewer probably than they were back then, since we've all grown up with TV, but it does catch your attention when you see a picture so clear and up close. Engaging, yes, but I don't go to Walmart to watch TV per se.

They have lots of this stuff on TV, but I haven't got time to sit and watch TV anyway, whether I had high def or not. Plus, it's not just sharks that sometimes take an arm and a leg, but the cable TV companies as well. Every time I look at my bill it's gone up another dollar or so. Two years ago I know it was in the 85-dollar range, but the latest was over $100, and I haven't added any features or options. For me to get high def at this point, I'd have to waste a lot more time sitting by the TV to pay for it, and I know I wouldn't be any happier.

But this post is supposed to be about The Natural Enquirer, a scandal sheet for animals. Sharks, yes, they have plenty of scandal to talk about. I see one bit a kid's leg just the other day. Dogs walking by the house, not picking up their droppings. Just pooping on mother earth and letting it go.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Look

On American Idol, as in everyday life, I'm always on the prowl (not exactly) for people with "The Look." Not that I'm going to do anything about it, going up to them and telling them I'm going to make you a star... I like to see people with "The Look," even if it's only in passing.

For me the Look is the look of something individual, eclectic, electrifying, a touch of weirdness yet with confidence and something interesting going on. As for me, though, personally, I don't have The Look whatsoever. I've never had it really -- maybe un peu in high school, but now I'm withered, with strange tufts and balding, and getting wrinkled. If I were a bluesman, I'd be in my element, except I'm not that either!

When I see the Look, which is hardly ever, it's captivating. But you don't want to look at the Look very long or reality will catch up with you. Real life has a way of taking everyone down a few pegs. Still, and they're few and far between, once in a while you see something in people that's very spiritual, a spark.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

A Bail Bondsman

You have one of those nights where it seems like everything's normal. Then the phone rings and some acquaintance is in trouble, in jail, and chose YOU to help them get out.

That happened to me tonight. Yuckus!

The jail official told me they accepted cash. And they had a heck of a policy for making you wait out in the cold. Then telling you it'd be so long till they sprung the person, then shooting over that by 10 to 15 minutes.

It's an absurd system.

Now I have to hope this person makes the court date, or my money's down the drain. Lucky me.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

American Idol Starts Tonight

I'll probably watch it. I'm debating watching it.

Last year it seemed to drag somewhat. Someone was talking about how media savvy the contestants were, and adept at not doing weird things to give themselves bad publicity. But we want drama, mistakes, blowups, then also the super performances.

They've got some different things going this year, including a new judge. Plus, it appears, there are a few more landmines for the contestants, which I hope will make for more drama.

I'm hoping to go out to eat, which might mean watching it later. That's part of the reason I wouldn't watch it, the waste of time it is when it's all said and done.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Blizzard Conditions

There's blizzard conditions out tonight, especially in the country. I haven't been there but I experienced it last year, and today looks like that.

We had total whiteout conditions, going like about 5 mph on the highway and sometimes zero. There were wrecks, crazy winds, drifts, the works. It was one of the worst experiences of my life.

It just so happened we pulled into some little town and there was a little motel, like five or six rooms total. And we happened to get one. There wasn't even an attendant there. You call on a phone and she tells you to go into the room and in the morning leave your money on the desk. Small. But it was our salvation that night.

That was a very cold night, like way below zero. We had the dog with us and I kept taking it out so she wouldn't pee on the carpet. I assured the lady on the phone things would be OK. My tire looked like it was getting low. I was freaking out. Unnecessarily, as most freaking out is unnecessary, since the tire was going to do what it was going to do. But a mechanic said it was from the extremely cold temperatures, probably.

We made it out the next day, made it home. But I'm glad tonight that I'm already home. And not out on the road!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Birthdays

My mom's birthday is today, my daughter's is tomorrow, mine is the next day. We have that clump every time of course. It's like running the gauntlet.

I have an uncle whose birthday was yesterday. I don't see him much anymore but it used to be clumped together with mine and my mom's, before the daughter and when we were more local and younger.

My daughter's birthday is her 31st, and I know she's counting off the seconds till it. We take our birthdays seriously. I still like mine. I don't mind getting old. I don't know why anyone would. It's nothing you have any control over.

The only person I ever held it against them how old they were was John McCain. And that was all fake. Except, realistically, you want to have a president who's on top of his or her game. If all he wanted to be was senator, do it as long as you want as far as I'm concerned.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

The Heroic Bear

Another of the Animal Planet stories came to me. And I didn't see any of this one, because I was sitting on a couch and the TV was aimed the other direction.

It involved a she bear who took on a he bear in a fight to protect her baby bears. How little they were, I don't know, I guess it doesn't matter. I wasn't listening closely to the lead up on the story. But it appears that the he bear was trying to get the baby bears, and the mother fought him and threw him down an embankment of some sort.

They obviously had it on video, because whoever had witnessed it was going on what a great "shot" they got, like one in a million.

Here's where it got schmaltzy, and in my opinion ... objectionable. The mother bear was described as a "perfect mother" and even "heroic" in her "willingness" to protect those babes, "willing" to kill him or be killed to make sure they were OK.

What I object to is all that. Being a "perfect mother," being a "hero," having a "will" to give up her life for their sake. It seems to me that if you run an entire channel called ANIMAL PLANET that you ought to have some sense of ANIMALS, and not be projecting our own altruistic ideals on to them. At that level, it would seem, it's all instinct and circumstances, not heroism, not trying to live up to the standard of motherhood that we have as our sentiment, or the exercise of a will, i.e., judging a certain set of circumstances and saying it will take this or that kind of "will" to get a particular end accomplished.

It was so sentimental, so schmaltzy, that it became clear that the Animal Planet channel is simply the People Planet channel that happens to feature animals to make us feel good. Instinct is what their focus should be.

Friday, January 09, 2009

Stung By Over 500 Bees

I don't usually watch the Animal Planet channel, except when it's on and the other person doesn't want to change the channel. The combination of the Crocodile Hunter and endless episodes of sick dogs and cats being rescued from squalor is enough to make me vomit.

Late this afternoon, though, I'm at the hospital, visiting someone's room, and what had to be on but the Animal Planet channel! The show was something about Animal Stories Extreme, a Marlin that jumps up and stabs a guy, a pelican dangling in midair by a fishhook, a dog in icy waters that bites his rescuer on the face, and a woman who was stung by over 500 bees while mowing her yard.

Good grief, stung by over 500 bees. They were in her mouth, in her clothes, all over her. It's enough to keep me in nightmares for the next 10 years. This is part of the reason I hate that channel.

But, I was thinking, I suppose if you can stand 350-400 stings, the last hundred has to be easy. Also, by the way, this would be the perfect premise (although very cliched) for her to be the Bee Lady with superpowers.

Thursday, January 08, 2009

No More Bananas

Here's a troubling story, that there's some danger to the banana, based on what? Disease or something. I read through part of the article but had to take off.

I hope we find some way of saving the banana, if indeed it is in danger. I know it shows up in the South Beach Diet book as something you shouldn't eat, but still, they're quick, they're delicious, and we like them.

I've got one setting right here by my desk. It's a Del Monte, raised in Guatemala. I just wish they would come up with a way for them not to turn brown so fast.

I saw another weird banana story the other day, I believe in American Profile magazine. It's a supplement that comes with the newspaper. It was about a lady who collects banana stickers. Which you wouldn't think there'd be that many different varieties of. But she has around 7,500 different ones! She takes them off, soaks off the glue somehow, then collects them in books. She even said she's been known to go to a store, buy bananas, take off the stickers, and give the bananas back to the store.

This Del Monte banana has a nice sticker, a #4011 sticker with a sort of UPC code (not exactly). I don't think I'll save it.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

My Dog

My dog growls in her sleep once in a while. She's dozing in the hallway and she just now did a very low volume growl. She also kicks her feet at times and makes little yips, like she's barking in her dreams but all that's coming through is this pipsqueak yip.

She's part Pomeranian, so she's not big. She just thinks she's big. Except she has a lot of fear of things outside. You wouldn't know it as aggressive as she seems.

A couple nights ago I saw something weird on the sidewalk when I took her out. It was over where we don't usually go, but I saw it over there. It looked like maybe a bunch of leaves, or a bunched up shirt, or something. It was moving because it was a windy night. But it had a way of moving like it had a will of its own. I was hoping there wasn't a crippled squirrel in there somewhere, maybe tangled up. It didn't really seem like it had that much will, but whatever it was, the swirling wind patterns, perhaps, this piece would stretch out, this other bit would rotate.

I was looking over at it with interest. The dog either noticed me looking at it or happened to notice it for herself. She stood erect in its direction and was barking, like she was bold. But then I decided we should walk over by it and figure out the mystery, what it was. The dog became more and more reticent as we got closer. Like she thought it was a living thing, too. Then when it seemed like I was going to press on all the way to it, getting closer, my dog pulled the leash the opposite direction and let out the scariest primal barking/moaning I've ever heard from her. More a bark than a moan, but full of anguish and dread. Of course I turned and we went the opposite direction.

When we went out in the morning there wasn't anything over there that was unusual. In the general vicinity I saw what looked like a cottage cheese container, and nearby also a yogurt container. But whether they were part of anything that could be moving and swirling, I guess I'll never know.

I was describing it to someone just like here and she noted the word "primal" in my description, to which I said they obviously have responses built in that are not normally used in everyday life, till an unusual threat arises.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

AVI Frames

I recently got a small video camera. I've taken a few videos. I haven't come up with a good way to snap frames off it, or, better yet, to extract all frames.

I have Infranview, which has a feature built in for this very task. Except for me they all come out black. I checked around on the internet and someone recommended turning off all video acceleration, which is an easy enough thing to do. But it didn't do any good.

Once in a while, when manually snapping a picture with Capture software, I get part of a frame, just part.

The video comes with Flip-something, a piece of crap bit of software and only reads videos from the camera and not off the harddrive, seems like it to me. It has a way of snapping one picture at a time but not a hundred or a thousand.

I used to do this all the time seven or eight years ago. I had a Ulead (?) gif animator and it could do stuff like that.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Progresso Soup

I bought around 20 cans of Progresso Light Beef Pot Roast soup the other day. I've never bought that much soup in my life.

I picked up a can one night and it tasted delicious. So I thought next time I went to the store I'd get a few more cans. I started stacking them in the cart and couldn't stop. I took almost every one they had except for three or four.

Now I've got a pantry with a bunch of soup cans prominent on the shelf. We've had maybe four or five cans since, and I gave one away. I hope I don't get sick of it till it's gone.

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Hinder - Extreme Behavior

I got the Hinder CD "Extreme Behavior" at Goodwill yesterday. I like the song "Lips of an Angel," and thought a dollar was a good deal for the whole CD.

I was surprised then to read the bad review of the album at All Music. One and a half stars and taking them to task for whatever, for being guys with hormones I guess.

But I was playing it as background music while doing something else and it sounded pretty good. I wasn't paying close attention though, or filtering it through extraordinary sensibilities.

Great cover! I didn't know the album was so old, 2005. Since I was just hearing "Lips of an Angel" on the radio recently. Shows what I know.

I also heard a country version of "Lips of an Angel" but can't remember who the singer was.

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Shower Video

With my new video camera I can't think of too much to video. Pets are only so entertaining. Eventually I'm going to have to leave the house.

Yesterday I wondered what it'd look like to video myself taking a shower. From the waist up, of course. So I set the camera up here somewhere and tried to forget it was there, which I didn't manage.

I did everything quicker, undressing, getting in, stayed in less time, etc., so it'd be a shorter, more contained production. Somehow I managed to keep it all waist-up, even when in the shower. So I'm able to keep it on my hard drive, which I wouldn't want to do if I was overly exposed.

A couple of observations. I'm freaked out about my appearance. I thought I looked terrible. I've never observed myself from some of these angles, and it wasn't appealing. Plus, you can really see through the shower door. I didn't know that 100%.

I was pretty much humorless doing it. As stated, I was trying to forget the camera was there, which meant not a lot of mugging, grinning, talking. So I look like a task-oriented stoic, getting my clothes off very fast, getting in, getting out, all business. It'd be more entertaining to be singing in the shower or something.

Friday, January 02, 2009

Computer Down

My doctor's computer's down, so they don't know if you have an appointment today or not. If I drop dead, they won't know till the computer's up and running.

What about old Doc Hill, in the old building downtown, upstairs, with his name printed on the window? And a horse and buggy tied outside. He was keeping track of his patients all the time, at least giving them a bullet to bite on while they suffered. Didn't have a computer.

There was a prophecy told me by your average Radio Shack employee once, probably 1982 (thereabouts), that one day we'll all need a computer. At the time I was thinking of what computers were generally to be used for, as foretold in magazines of the time, which was keeping track of recipes and ... I think that was it. I doubted the guy's word.

Now I don't know if I have a doctor's appointment or not. I did have a hard copy, the card they give you at the time. But I lost it, no backup.

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Older

Everyone's older today, being New Year's Day.

I got a camera after Christmas, a video camera, Flip Ultra. It's nice and easy to use. But it shows how very old I'm getting. I set it on an exercise machine and was videoing my face as I did the thing. Then I looked at part of it. Very wrinkly, I'm getting, no joke.

I need to do something about stress. Stress is destroying what appearance I ever had. I sort of feel like I'm on top of it, but that's not true. Anyway, that's a video I don't want to see very often!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

When A Person Is Precious

I described someone today -- searching for the right word -- as "precious," and the woman I was talking to, the daughter of the person being described, said, that was "the right word" to describe her with. Which made me feel good. I had those few seconds and could have blown it royally.

What "precious" means in this case is almost an intuitive leap. Someone off the beaten path yet with enough remaining style and eclat (that's a word, I think) and approachability to be "dear," yet maybe not so much as to be universally acclaimed as such.

I myself don't volunteer too much, but I try to give bursts of that sort of thing. Just don't hang around more than 10 seconds or it will either evaporate or wear thin. I detect it in others, but seldom enough that it's worth a comment.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Take a Loadoff

Are you tired, dead tired, feeling withdrawn, lacking the energy to go on?

Take a Loadoff.

Loadoff is non-habit forming, safe and effective, recommended by three out of four doctors. And the fourth doctor's a wreck.

Friday, September 05, 2008

BREAKING: Deputy and Two Dogs

I see a disconnect from what's important on CNN. They're showing a few minutes of a Joe Biden speech. He's telling a pleasant anecdote about himself and John McCain, then he starts getting fired up, attacking the Republicans with some red meat, and guess what --

We're breaking away at this point for a story about a deputy somewhere who may or may not have killed two dogs.

Let me make it perfectly clear, I'm not saying there's something wrong with our media and their priorities. But maybe the dog story belongs on Animal Planet. Just saying.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Six Months or Last Minute

This blog post raises an excellent point regarding McCain's vetting process for a vice presidential running mate.
John McCain clinched his party's nomination all the way back on March 4. He's had six months to carefully select and vet a running mate, and what did he do? He waited until the absolute last moment - until Obama made his move - and then acted in a purely reactionary fashion. He made his selection rashly, on a whim.
The man had six months to get the job done. And he waited until the absolute last minute to throw something together.

The blog post quoted was written by someone called "EarlG." EarlG states the case perfectly: McCain "made his selection rashly, on a whim."

John McCain has very bad judgment and is not fit to be President of the United States.