If You Want To Lose 350 Followers A Day

1. Ask everyone to please quit following you. Tell them if they don't, you're going to annoy them to death.

2. Start the annoying even before they have a chance to quit. Tweet such things as "Come see my naughty profile," or let them know you have the secrets to getting rich quick.

3. For those seeking to be inspired, cuss out everyone's old favorites, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Gandhi, Eleanor Roosevelt, Thomas Jefferson, and, of course, Mother Teresa.

4. Just type random words or meaningless phrases. Keep them short so it's obvious it's just worthless.

5. Describe your body parts in the lewdest terms and what you're doing with them.

6. Be prolific.