Toilet Troubles

We've had toilet troubles for a few days, and it may predate the death of that fish the other day, as in being slow, but it's been so slow as to not actually be flushing.

I had said something about the flushing of the fish (I wasn't the one who did it), but I was really only joking, since I figured it actually went down. But we've been plunging and plunging, trying to get it unplugged for days. I have a worn spot on the heel of my hand from plunging. Nothing did any good. I read on wikihow how to fix a slow toilet. Water went down OK from a bucket, so I was cleaning the holes. Then sometimes it wouldn't work and that was mysterious. So I was plunging some more, ever more plunging, to little profit ... until ... I felt a good suction ... and then ...

I saw it, what looked like the fish, black! I tried to retrieve it with a big spoon but it only pushed it back in there. I tried other tools, to some avail, but not much. What this needed, unfortunately, was the human hand. That's bad. But what do you do in an emergency? In went the hand, and fumbled around with it, although it was somewhat wedged in there. I could feel the prickly big fin that sticks up, so I finally got ahold of that, and through some doing, got it retrieved. Now it was with a tool, to put it in the garbage.

Now with the holes cleaned, thanks to wikihow, and the obstruction out of the way, it's flushing with good authority. Back to normal and better than normal because of the better water flow with the holes being cleaned.

This is a disgusting task. I was just kidding about the fish plugging it up. Imagine how interesting it was to tell that other person, oh, by the way, it WAS the fish. Of course it would sound like I was kidding, since we were joking around about it earlier, but I stressed the truthfulness of the situation and it was believed on the second telling. Because it's true.

The Center Of Relevance In Life

I got an email today, according to which I am the proud beneficiary of $25 million, I believe the figure was. Obviously this bequest is going to change my life in numerous ways. One, I plan to save at least half of it, and as for the rest I think I'll probably buy several things I'd like, a house, car, all that.

Checking it out on the internet, at some place with a name like "scam alert," it looks like a lot of others have had the same good fortune. So that's an interesting coincidence.

One of the sentences in the letter was very interesting:

I am the only one who knows of this situation at this time, and good fortune has blessed and planted you into the center of relevance in life.

Good fortune has blessed and planted me "into the center of relevance in life." I believe this is the first time I've ever been anywhere near the center of relevance in life. I've spent a lot of time at the margins, quite far from the center of relevance in life. But now I have been planted into it, I'm doing OK!

Tatiana! - Final Edition

Well, that's it. She bombed out. No more Tatiana on American Idol. I liked her too, the whole drama queen reputation, the good voice. She was fun to watch.

But when you get one more chance, you have to do something with it. I myself wasn't keeping track of the songs everyone sang, so it's all the same to me if you do the same song over and over. I'm not occupying my memory with such details. But the judges were keeping track, and they didn't like the fact that she did the same song three times. Three times??

Simon might have sounded harsh, but it was right on. Was she planning on doing the same song every show. Even I might have noticed if she did that!

I cannot believe, that given that one great, last chance, that anyone would put so little effort into doing something dynamic. You could pick a song off the top of your head in about 10 minutes. Then they have people there to get it arranged, all that. I'd like to see the behind the scenes stuff to see what opportunities they have. Do something with the chance you get.

So now we're without Tatiana. Alas. I was looking forward to seeing her on there. But it was her own fault, at least from where I sit.

Death Of A Fish

When fish die, you don't really notice or care. Unless they're in your aquarium. Then you at least notice. It's nothing that you get too broken up over. Probably if it cost $100 and you bought it yesterday, that'd be a different story.

We had a big fish that was dead today. By big I mean relatively big, five inches or so. It was called a Talking Catfish. I never heard it say anything, but this other person says she heard it croaking out a few syllables of some sort.

It wasn't a fish I noticed very much. Whether it hides or just stays in the background somewhere, it's always something of a surprise to see it at all. But yesterday it was swimming toward the top of the tank, like it was sucking air out of the surface. I called attention to it, that something funky was going on with that fish. Maybe it was dying. Turns out it was two years old.

Then today I looked and it was dead, at the bottom of the tank. So it was retrieved and flushed down the toilet.

When they catch fish -- I saw it on TV -- they catch them by the millions at a time. Then they're sliced and diced and iced, bing bang boom. No one cares about the individual fish. But each single fish is definitely, obviously a single little life. So it's something at least that they live and die.

Tatiana!

Tatiana was picked among the eight wildcard singers on American Idol. I was surprised, mostly for this reason, that I had entirely forgotten about her.

If you're out of the public eye for a couple weeks, that's all it takes. They had the whole group of potential picks sitting there and I didn't even notice her. Then when the judge said her name, she seemed to come out from behind someone else, and I suddenly remembered ... oh, her, how could I forget her?

She was very emotional, very happy to have this last shot. It's going to be a tough competition. I would guess they have to pick, arrange, and practice a completely different song in the next 24 hours. That's going to be very rushed. But there's no way, I would imagine, that they'll just have them do the same song. No, because they were even saying something like, "Pick the right song."

This whole process would be interesting to see, be behind the scenes of.

As for the ones who didn't get picked ... oh well. Some looked like they'd be worthy of another shot, some didn't.

Homelessness

I personally encountered two instances of homelessness today, situations where there is very little hope. I don't know what people are supposed to do in situations like that.

One person simply has nowhere to go and no real prospects. The other one at least has a pickup truck to stay in. Your heart breaks for situations like this, but what can you do? People get in these bad scrapes and so they suffer, to the extent that it is by some fault of their own.

To be homeless would be a disaster. I myself lived in a car for a month, but I was in college, waiting for an apartment to open up, etc., so I don't really consider myself as having been homeless. I had an apartment in another town, but couldn't be there at the time. I slept in a dorm one night, and in a dorm lobby one night. It was not very fun but manageable. The weird thing about that was my car quit working, so I couldn't move it. Then a tire went flat. Then I went to change the tire, but I guess because it set there so long the lugnuts got strange and broke off with the tire iron. Then at some point at the end of that month, the police towed the car and I don't believe I ever saw it again.

If I had to be homeless now it'd be a disaster. Married with pets.

Pork Chops And Tabasco

I'm a big Tabasco fan. I love it on chicken wings and pork chops.

I have a theory, no actual research involved, that Tabasco could probably cure disease. Big stuff too, like herpes, cancer, all that stuff that supposedly can't be defeated. My theory: sprinkle some Tabasco on it and the bacteria will have to die.

I'm very used to Tabasco sauce. I started out having a tiny drop once in a while at my grandparents. Back then we must have stretched out a bottle for years. I don't know. Now I slather stuff with it, both on top and for dipping. But no matter how "used" to it I am, it still has heat that does things to me. Sometimes my hearing gets slightly fuzzy, my nose runs, I'm drinking water.

Because it has these dreadful effects ... that's where I get the idea it can cure disease.

I also used to have a theory that those metal Chinese balls with different gongs in them could cure foot pain, so obviously my theories rely on a lot of wishful thinking.

Rush To Judgment

Republicans better hurry up and get moderate, or their brand will suffer further damage. Right now they're stuck with this clown Rush Limbaugh and the other fringe crazies. Any Republican moderate out there has to be tearing out his or her hair that this is what it's come to.

Really, they just about break free of Dobson, Falwell (who did them a favor by going to his reward), Robertson, that wing. They get rid of Bush, who was not really a friend to the idea of long term conservatism. And now they're stuck with this idiotic Limbaugh, Coulter, that wing of the party.

Today there's this story, that Eric Cantor and Michael Steele are poo-pooing the insane doctrine that they're pulling for Obama to fail. Of course they're getting strung up for it. Because the crazies they're aligned with are the pitchfork brigade, who won't settle for anything less than their own nutty agenda.

Cantor is no liberal and not a moderate. But maybe he can read the handwriting on the wall. The more the Democrats are able to keep the equation this: Republicans = Limbaugh, the worse things will get. (Or the better they will get from my point of view.)

It's funny watching the Republicans show up to kiss Limbaugh's ring. That's giving him big kicks. Do us a favor. Keep kissing it all the way through 2010.

Last Day Of A Short Month

February is four blocks of seven. It's a square month, or rectangular. It's a bad month for renters, a good month for people paid monthly.

The month of February is like an afterthought. It lost days somewhere. It's the "Shorty" of every popular song.

I am proud that I know how to spell February. This was one that kids had a tough time with when I was in school. They always wanted to leave out the first "r". Also in their pronunciation of it. There were lots of things like this that I always deserved a gold star for, if only the distribution of gold stars had been more widespread. I might have some of my gold stars in a box somewhere. For whatever I did, learning verses in church, for example.

The whole thing of leap year babies is crazy. We always seemed to have one kid in school -- somebody -- who'd be saying, "I'm only two years old" or "I'm only three years old." Just because their actual birthday was canceled in normal years.

Be Chastened

I don't want to give any useful advice to the Republicans/conservatives. I want them to slash their own political wrists, throats, whatever, that they might leave us forever. We'd be better off, unless there happened to be a more moderate wing that could take over, those who used good old fashioned American common sense in their political dealings. But just having the radicals in charge, the sooner they off themselves the better.

They're having some big convention. I was seeing some of it on TV. Michael Steele is "da man" in charge (Michelle Bachmann's words). In his overview of the criminality and bad sense of the Bush years, he dismissed it all with a flippant "My bad." Hmm. To me that's not very reflective. May they go down; they certainly won't be missed, except with a smile.

The useful advice I would give, were I to give any, and, remember, I don't want them to take this advice, is to be chastened. Come up with some soul-searching and sincerity. They act like nothing really matters, that government by idiocy can just be overlooked with a stupid "My bad." Personally I wouldn't put these morons in charge of taking out the trash -- because even a task like that is something I want done right. But add to their failure to govern their failure to realize the severity of their failure. If they cannot learn, what would they be promising us for next time? Probably worse.

It makes you wonder how they think. Why wouldn't they want a sense of well being for their own country?

American Idol - Results, Round 2

Well, I was very happy, since Allison Iraheta and Adam Lambert were my favorites from the round 2 performances. They both went through to the final 12.

Hearing Adam Lambert do "Satisfaction" again tonight, the guy is simply amazing. I can't believe the voice on this guy. And Allison did a great job again too.

It was great seeing Brook White again at the piano, doing her new single. Hmm, I didn't know she had a new single. So maybe I need to listen to the radio more. Nah, I might listen all year and not hear it. Hearing it on the show was very good. She looked good too.

The other guy who made it through was Kris Allen, doing "Man In The Mirror." I used to like this song. I used to have a Michael Jackson CD single of it. I don't know if I'm too whoopie on it anymore. I wasn't exactly enamored with Kris Allen either. But when he sang it tonight it sounded pretty solid. I'm noncommital on whether I like him especially. He's probably a nice guy. I was surprised that Megan didn't get picked, but I didn't care for her all that much either. I guess it's good that Kris made it, since there weren't really any of the others I was especially rooting for.

I also liked the "Wonderful World" montage. Nice to see Taylor Hicks again.

That Little Girl

It was great seeing that little girl with Michelle Obama. How great both looked. Then when Michelle started hugging her, then the girl's mother, then all three together ... it was very touching. Michelle is nothing but class.

And I liked the letter she wrote to the Congress or President, telling them about her class, that "We are not quitters." That was great.

President Obama had an interesting word on dropping out of school, too, that people aren't just quitting themselves but their country. Very appropriate thing to say.

A Big Green Comet

I read this morning that there's a big green comet supposed to come blasting through the sky tonight. It's the size of Jupiter, which if memory serves, is an enormous planet the size of several thousand earths.

Good grief, I think, like I always think when gigantic news like this comes along ... Why didn't they tell us before? Did they just wake up today and discover it? It sounds like something worth telling us a little more in advance. Not that there's anything we could do about it, say, if it veered off course; I don't think that's in the works. But it'd be worth hearing about before the day it happens!

Anything worth doing, anything worth seeing is worth having some advance notice. We have the countdown days to everything, Christmas, elections, vacation, shuttle launches. But when it comes to eclipses, comets, all this stuff that is measured in light years, we wake up, then they tell us, that later today, this is happening.

Doldrums Eating

I need to think about eating something. I feel down tonight, but not eating isn't a solution. There's no compelling reason I have to eat; it's not like I'm going to starve; but just giving in to a bad mood isn't the answer either.

The thing about eating, though, is it takes effort. More effort than pushing the keys on this keyboard. And my stomach is doing some things. But what is there? I have some things in the refrigerator that could make a meal. The problem is some of it is the same stuff I have for breakfast. And I don't want every meal to be breakfast.

I could go out but I hate spending money at this point. I've had some crazy expenses -- family crises -- and it'd be better to keep back plenty for the next rainy day, which could be literally any minute. There's no telling. There's no security, that's for sure.

I have a book somewhere, and I can't find it, even though I've looked several times. Maybe it's fitting that I can't find it. The book is something like this, "The Wisdom of Insecurity," and I think it's by Alan Watts. (I looked it up on Wikipedia and that's the correct title and author.) I see he wrote it in 1951. Anyway, I've looked at it in places over the years but never have read it through. I seem to recall the upshot is that being insecure is actually a pretty good way to be. What reason? This I don't know, but my guess would be it keeps you trying, keeps you alert, and lets you know life is meant to be lived this moment, moment to moment, and not like The Rich Fool of the Bible.

The big problem is I feel like I like security, even if it causes all kinds of pain. Just thinking of complete insecurity, I will leave that pleasure for when and if it just happens all by itself. I can hardly see me being homeless and all that. It's a terrible thought, but who knows, maybe it wouldn't be all that bad. I don't say that humorously.

I think there's a couple of cranky pork chops in the fridge. By cranky, I mean the ones the grocery store hides under the good looking ones. The first to be packed, the last to be eaten. They have a kind of security in their insecurity.

George Washington's Birthday

Imagine having to go through this every time it's your birthday:

George Washington was actually born on February 11, 1731 of the Julian calendar, in use before England's calendar reformation in September 1752. His birthday is equivalent to February 22, 1732 in the Gregorian calendar used since 1752. Later in life, Washington himself considered the 22d to be his birthday.

You'd be like, It's not really my birthday if you're going by the Julian calendar in use by the calendar reformation England had in September 1752. No, what I'm going by it the Gregorian calendar used since 1752, so my birthday is Feb. 22, 1732.

You do too much of that and I start losing interest. How terrible they had to do all that and mess up the guy's life. He's born in 1731 and it ends up 1732. Weird. But the good news is it didn't happen till he was already more or less in his 20s. By then he's grown up and not a confused little kid wondering why his birthday was screwed up.

For some reason they never mentioned any of this when I was in school. We memorized that his birthday was February 22, 1732. How fortunate we didn't have to get that other date in there too. That would have made it unnecessarily complicated.

So ... this leaves us today to maybe wish George Washington a happy birthday, or maybe not. Depending on how you swing with all these calendars.

The Pain Scale

I had the misfortune -- which is happening more and more these days -- of accompanying a loved one at the emergency room.

Usually when we're there we're in a private little room where there's very little activity. Today we were in the main room, where everything's separated by flimsy, moving curtains, and quarters are tighter.

All the time, in all these visits, they ask your pain on the scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the worst possible. Sometimes it's 10, sometimes 9, sometimes 8, etc., meaning this is supposed to mean something -- and of course it does in ballpark figures. For instance, a 1 is objectively different from a 10, but a 9 is not objectively different from a 10, at least in the knowledge between people; perhaps it is to the person feeling it.

A doctor came in and asked the pain level, and she says not too bad, a 6. The doctor says a 6 is pretty bad. Right there we have all the evidence we need that the number doesn't mean anything definite. I said something to him about it and he didn't just laugh it off as an obvious conclusion, and instead said, "It means something to me." Yeah, it means you don't know any more about it now than before you asked. Or you wouldn't have argued with what the patient said.

A Line Of Geese

Three lines, one in flight. This is a phone picture, which seems to do a very bad job.

Germs On The Treadmill

I have a rare cold. I'm not one to get sick, actually, so when it happens I'm very surprised.

It's not a comfortable feeling but it doesn't get me down. I'm really looking at it halfway pleasantly, because it just reminds me of how well I always am. But I'm wondering how I got it.

There's one thing that's been weighing on my mind. And that's the very unfortunate coincidence of reading last week that you're not supposed to blow your nose anymore. That it's bad for you. So I've been sniffling and snorting and sneezing. And, yes, I have broken down and blown it a few times. To be technical, I believe it said it was OK to blow one nostril at a time, which I've been doing occasionally. Once, though, I'm pretty sure I did both at the same time.

How did I get this? Someone at work suggested that maybe I got it from the exercise place. The thought already had crossed my mind. You have all these strangers -- 24 hours a day -- working out, sweating, wiping themselves, coughing (perhaps), holding on to the grips of the treadmill or the handles of the elliptical. It's a wonder I'm not always sick!

You're supposed to clean off the equipment with a disinfectant towel, which I always do, but I notice not everyone does. (It's like cleaning up poop after your dog goes in the yard. I'm very conscientious and regular about it. But there are neighbors who don't give it a thought.) So what happens to me, maybe I touch my face, whatever, now I have a cold.

I'm very wary about germs but not to the point of disabling me. Plus I know that disinfectant towels might miss some, and with the way that certain germs are not wiped out, whatever doesn't kill them only makes them stronger. The strong survive and repopulate the treadmill. Then their strong offspring are immune to the disinfectant towels. Pretty soon they're strong enough they're working out themselves on the equipment and we're standing in line till they're through.

Everything is germy. But most of us have developed some immunity. The catbox, the garbage, the dog's droppings, the sponge in the sink, the toilets, bacon packages, the list goes on and on.

American Idol

For the most part, I'd say obscurity is better than notoriety.

I really think I'd rather be an obscure hotel singer with a steady job that to be someone who went on American Idol and bombed out first thing.

The way they have the format this year, bombing out first thing is what's going to happen if you just happen not to be that great. The TV doesn't obscure the facts; it accentuates them.

Then you have blog after blog rating you on the disaster of it all. It has to about be too much for a young person, 21-26, who thinks he or she is really something.

The ones performing last night, with few exceptions, were pretty bad. I wondered if they would be, because the first one, Ms. Tohn, didn't seem bad to me. Then the guy following her, Mr. Braddy, wasn't terrible, just boring looking. Then the next singer, Alexis Grace, I thought blew it away in a great job. After that it was smooth sailing downhill, except for a couple of exceptions or half exceptions.

Tatiana wasn't herself, the herself we've come to know. Danny Gokey did good.

The Castrators of Russia

I just got a book at the thrift store that looks interesting, "Secret Societies -- A History," by Arkon Daraul. Wow, even the name of the guy sounds secret. The blurb says, "The classic, sensational study, with an analysis of their forms, rituals, and beliefs." It looks pretty classic, although I can't figure out why I haven't heard of it before.

I turned immediately to one interesting looking group, The Castrators of Russia. I haven't read it yet but my eye landed on a few lines, including this one: "Each member is allowed to have two children, after which he must be castrated and can fulfil himself in the way which, the sect insists, was his destiny." I got to say, you wouldn't be a part of the group if you didn't want to be, I assume, but if I ever saw my wife with a pregnancy test, I think I'd be having second thoughts.

It says in another place that they had a real whoop-de-doo of a ceremony, with lots of singing and lots of prophetic outbursts. They're in trances and it says, "These ejaculations were carefully written down..." By that they mean what they had to say. Sounds a little weird, with the subject matter and all.

And one last snippet (pardon the expression), castration is called the Baptism of Fire by the sect, because it was originally carried out with a red-hot iron. Later they changed it to a sharp knife, "because of human weakness." It seems, though, that they used numerous other tools to get the job done. And there's a citation of statistics that lists those: Knife, 164; Razor, 108; Hatchet, 30; Scythe, 23; Iron, Glass, Tin, etc., 17.

A scythe? 23 guys were castrated with a scythe? You have to be careful. They might cut off your leg, too.

The Music Time Forgot

The music time forgot is the Spanish songs they play in the Mexican restaurant. Not being someone who knows much about that whole scene, are these current hits? It's weird that they all sound so old fashioned, like they're from the '40s or '50s.

But really there's no reason I know of that music has to sound different as the years go on. Time goes on but that doesn't mean music has to change. A whole bunch of accordions ought to sound just as good in one decade as it did in another. That's a fact. A very sentimental sound, a rollicking tune, a boisterous group, just add it up.

Our experience, they way I've seen it, with music is that it does change, but that could just be our experience. You can tell the difference between popular music from the '40s, '50s, '60s, and so on. It's not just one big mash of the same thing.

Music from Mexico ... musicians from Mexico ... and I don't know a single one ... they've got the big hats, big guitars, big groups, and it's a very happy sound. I was looking at some CDs at a Mexican grocery store just today, and there they are! By the way, the sell CDs that are chockful of mp3s there. You can buy a CD with 230 songs on it! With the list on the back being in small time. Other ones with a hundred and some songs, etc. It all looks a bit shady.

Valentine Candy

I don't want to depress the Valentine candy market, but definitely the day to buy candy is tomorrow, when it's around 50-60% off.

I went to the store one year the day after Valentine's Day and got so much candy for 10 bucks, I still haven't come down from the sugar high. Big heart boxes full of sampler chocolates. It was so much chocolate I wasn't even nibbling the chocolate off the jelly ones before tossing them out.

Every holiday is a total letdown when it's over, that's well known. And Valentine's Day is no different. But it's much different than, say, Christmas, in that there's virtually no build up to it. And when it's over it's over. But with Christmas you go shop for bargains for the next year. With Valentine's Day there's no saving up for next year. You just pig out on the candy for a week and that's it.

And there's some other differences. With Christmas, usually your gifts last a while. But what about Valentine's Day. Candy, we've covered that; it's eaten. Flowers, they quickly rot. Stuffed animals, I don't know what happens to them, but they're useless. You spend way too much for flowers, flowery cards, going out to eat, and it's over.

Have a great one!

Happy Birthday, Peter Tork

Happy birthday, Peter Tork. Let's see, born in 1942, so that makes him 67. He was my favorite Monkee in '67 and now he's '67 himself.

By now I'm much too old to have favorite Monkees. Part of it probably comes from having kids, and you can't have favorites there. Or at various jobs, where everyone has to be your favorite, the apple of your eye, to keep the peace.

But back then Peter Tork looked exactly like the free spirited kind of guy that appealed to me, the great hair, cute looks, and the metaphysical, intuitive, spiritual, complex stuff of asking questions and discerning what there is of reality. He was definitely the go-to Monkee for that side of things, like George Harrison. And I really did like the hair, and the belt with the buckle off to the side.

I think it'd be weird to be famous, especially where the arc of widespread fame was as short lived as it was for the Monkees. The worst thing would be to always be associated with a particular year, like 1967, then have people asking you about things you did in that year. In their case, 1966-1968 were the big years. So here it is over 40 years later. You step out in public and someone wants to know why you did so and so back then. To me that would be terrible. Please go away and let me live in peace. But everyone's life is different, so you can't really say you're shortchanged when it comes to life because you were famous in 1967 and continually associated with it through time. It's probably a good thing, because you can still make a living based on the association.

Then one big positive is that complete strangers like me wish you happy birthday! Or maybe that's a negative. I don't think I'd like it. It'd be like complete strangers being your friends on Facebook. What do I care what they're doing? I don't.

Lincoln: Reading Is Fundamental

I think we all -- my immediate circle anyway -- have an image in our heads of Abraham Lincoln doing a lot of reading. Especially reading by the fireplace or with a candle, in a dark room with such a small flickering light that he can barely see by, but he keeps on reading.

For him, then, clearly reading was fundamental, as something to learn by as well as to kill time. And there's no evidence -- none -- that he was reading just to get free personal pan pizzas. But had he been reading to earn pizzas, he would have earned a great many, and subsequently been a very fat man.

But it'd be weird back then to be a big reader, because books weren't really that plentiful, or they were expensive to get. And being out in the sticks somewhere, they just didn't have them. So we have it so great and don't appreciate it.

According to a book I've been reading today, Herndon's Life of Lincoln, Lincoln concentrated on the Bible, Aesop's Fables, Robinson Crusoe, Pilgrim's Progress, a History of the United States, and Weems' Life of Washington. (p. 74). And as to this Life of Washington, he borrowed it from a guy, but then they had cracks in their log cabin and it got water damaged when it rained and Lincoln had to work hard to pay the guy back 75 cents. The guy was very unforgiving (p. 74-75).

Lincoln didn't get much formal schooling. All total it was only about a year. But he educated himself by carrying books around and reading all the time he could. And he had a great memory of the things he read.

One friend Lincoln had, a younger boy -- Joseph C. Richardson -- reported that Lincoln had the best penmanship in their neighborhood. At Richardson's request, Lincoln wrote him a penmanship sample that touched on his love for books. (p. 75-76)

It said:

"Good boys who to their books apply
Will all be great men by and by."

(The book quotes are from "Herndon's Life of Lincoln," 1965 paperback in the Fawcett World Library.)

The Colonel's Recipe

Colonel Sanders' recipe for Kentucky Fried Chicken is now entirely safe. I thought it was entirely safe before, but it doesn't sound like it was. They had it in a file cabinet with a couple of locks.

Now they have some kind of new vault -- I read about it this morning -- sort of like Fort Knox, only really secure. Alligators, a moat, doors with knobs hooked to triggers, laser beaming gargoyles, etc.

All this is being done to protect one single yellowing sheet of paper that Colonel Harland Sanders wrote his recipe out on in pencil. What I'm seriously afraid of is that the paper will simply rot in there. You can't protect against that entirely, since the enemy is within -- the way of all flesh -- and it's insidious.

So what I would do if I were them ... photocopy about 40 copies, laminate them, put them in some kind of big time capsule, bury them where it is extremely cold, whatever. Like that place up north where they're keeping seeds against a worldwide plague or famine.

Then if we ever lose the original recipe -- however carefully it's being guarded -- we will still be able to eat Kentucky Fried Chicken throughout eternity.

Kiss

I like hearing the random conversations of people. I have a little mp3 recorder, and I had it with me, but I never have it on at the right time. So I miss a few gems that are amusing as well as typical. Sometimes they're typical and sometimes they once were typical. The snippet I heard today is definitely from a dying genre of snippets, which is the old music critic who doesn't like all this new fangled stuff.

I went to a thrift store -- different town from where I live -- and I noticed they had a bin of LPs in a different place than they used to. But I couldn't immediately look at them because there was an old guy going through them. And anyway my main interest is looking at the CDs, since, to me LPs are secondary these days, and they don't usually have any especially good ones, and there's not usually any hurry because very few people are looking for them, at least for the exact same ones that I'm likely to buy. So let the old guy look.

I did my thing, went through the CDs, went through the books, then came back toward the cash register. The old guy was with the checkout lady, and he must be a regular, because something he said indicated that he'd found some others he liked. He was friendly. Then he started commenting on the other LPs he left behind that they were just "noise." He used that word and exacerbated his criticism, repeating it in a harsher way. But he had found some good ones!

Then I heard him say -- this snippet is very close to an actual quote -- that "a few years ago there was a group that painted their face and..." (Essentially recorded a lot of noise, with their image being everything and the content nothing worth having.) The checkout lady immediately said, "Kiss," which he then remembered as being correct. He started saying something about having his old turntable and sticking with the good music they used to have, etc.

But I was going through the albums by now and Kiss wasn't in there, nor was there much in the way of rock records at all. There was the usual array of religious albums, both the famous and the locally produced. There was some Ray Anthony, some albums from that era, which seems to me like that might be up the guy's alley. And other than that I don't remember any, just average, typical stuff like you always see in LP bins. I think there literally was a copy of Herb Alpert's "Whipped Cream" album. I say literally because it's really not an official thrift store LP bin without that album! That's a good album, but usually the copies they have at thrift stores are junked out.

As it turned out -- no big surprise -- there wasn't anything in the bin for me.

OK, what did the guy find that was so great? I didn't see what was in his stack. But he had maybe up to six or seven LPs, or five, and the top one was one of the "Sing Along With Mitch Miller" albums, the yellow one that I believe has a fold out cover. I've seen it over the years quite a few times. It's hard to believe this old guy with his old record player wouldn't already have that one! Or maybe he wore it out.

Windy Night Tonight

Where I live the wind suddenly popped up and took off a little over an hour ago.

It seemed weird, since I was out and it wasn't that windy. Then I was walking around the house and thought I heard singing, like a ghost singing. And it turned out to be that whistling sound around windows, the door, and those occasional loud whooshes of the wind.

I was just having a discussion about ghosts with some folks the other day. And after being my usual skeptical, dismissive self on the subject, I've been giving it a lot of thought. What if there were ghosts roaming around? If they were reasonable, friendly ghosts, maybe we could get along pretty well. But if they're like on that ghost hunters show on SciFi, biting me on the leg, maybe it wouldn't be so good. I'll be swatting the air trying to disengage their teeth from my leg. Hopefully that won't happen.

For the most part I like the sound of the wind. It stimulates your imagination. And I hope it doesn't blow any trees down.

Obama And The Republicans

I hope Obama gets the Republicans by the scruff of the neck pretty soon and shakes them up good. I personally think it's a mistake to bend over backwards for these guys, because they're always right there to slit your throat if you show vulnerability. So if he's doing rope-a-dope, that's one thing, but if he's seriously trusting these hacks, that's another.

As far as the economy goes, it looks to me like the media wants to portray Obama as down for the count. For whatever reason. They seemed overly in love with him, maybe this is just the shadow side of that. They have to dump on him now. But we all have a vested interest in things getting better. And it sickens me that the Republicans, for their short term partisan interest, would root for the country to go down the tubes. People are actually suffering.

Myself, I am fed up to here, now and forever, with the Republicans. There will never be anything they can do or will do that will put them anywhere near my good graces again. Because I think that they, the Congressional types certainly, are up to no good now and forever. They are so ideologically driven that they simply can't do anything right. I think they're selling out the country and it's a terrible shame.

Look at their partisan record. Whatever damage Bush wanted to inflict, they were there to cheer him on. Then he's out of office and we hear they're essentially glad because they supposedly didn't like him very much. Could have fooled me.

I want Obama to succeed -- for his sake (minor point) but for all our sakes (major). It's ridiculous to want things to go sour just so you can swoop in years from now and ... actually cause more damage. That's the Republican agenda.

My Blowing Garbage Can

The garbage went out a few days ago. The garbage guys, as would be expected, left behind the garbage can. Then a little wind came up and tipped it over. Then it was rolling back and forth.

I thought today, go over and fetch it. But the dog was there and there were puddles and mudspots in between. To have her hip deep in mudspots and drenched from puddles would make more of a mess to clean up, not less. So I postponed it.

Tonight then the garbage can had rolled to the exact middle spot of the driveway and at the edge of the street. Getting out of the car, a pedestrian just happened to be coming along. I stopped and got out and the guy went to help me get the garbage can. I'm saying, 'No, don't, I'll get it. It stinks,' but he fetched it anyway and we shared that single moment. 'Thanks.'

I offered him a ride, in so many words, without really saying it, but he was just going "around the corner."

I've seen the guy somewhere before, and not just from the neighborhood. But I can't think of where. Chance meetings are interesting to me.

Stimulus!

Pass the stimulus bill already! That has to be a drag, being in the Senate, with their idiotic rules. I swear, if we had 99 Democrats and just one bedraggled Republican, somehow that lone guy would be able to bring the place to a screeching halt.

How bad does it have to get in this country, though, before the Republicans think we ought to do something about it. If they walked by their own home and saw it on fire, would they call the fire department? Or would they debate it for a couple weeks while it burnt? A couple weeks would only be a conservative estimate.

And these are the same guys who bent over backwards for that scoundrel, George Bush. He was running the Constitution through a shredder and they stood up and saluted. But now, suddenly with a glimpse of possible partisan success by dragging the entire country down, they decide it's time to examine carefully every little nitpicking thing.

I not only hope things get better. Everyone should wish that. But I hope the voters reward the Republicans for their obstructionism in 2010, making the third time the charm.

What I Learned Today

I was reading some stuff on American Idol, since I watch it.

Kelly Clarkson says she's not a lesbian. I had no idea this was an issue, but apparently some people have greater access to her than I. I wouldn't know how to find out stuff like this, but somebody can. She says she's never been in love, but does prefer boys. So there.

I wonder how old this information is. Maybe it's old but I just saw it. I say that because this same site said that Elliot Yamin's mother died, no details. So I looked it up at other sites and it turns out she died, must have been sometime in March 2008. I've really been out of the loop, I guess, since that's almost a year ago and I didn't hear a word about it. His family said they wanted privacy ... and as far as I'm concerned, they got it.

One of the other American Idol stars reported that he was gay. Which one? I'm thinking it said Clay. I wasn't watching it back then and don't know much about him.

David Cook's album went platinum, meaning a million units sold. That's interesting. I have it but have not heard much about it around. Have there been big hits off it, except for the coronation song? The fact that I don't listen to the radio means this is something else I don't know.

Taylor Hicks has a new single. I would like to have it. But probably won't buy it. Since if I buy whatever album would later come out, I don't want to buy the single twice. I haven't heard much about him. He seems to be an idol that American Idol never mentions.

Bikini Girl Kartrina something (Darrel?) was kicked off the show. Good riddance. She was worthless and shouldn't have been there in the first place. Entertaining in a drama queen way. That Tatiana is another one. Weird bird.

The Joy of Seeking

An interesting line from Kabir (Tagore translation, #LV) is this:

There one is immersed in the joy of the seeking: plunged in the deeps of love as the fish in the water.

I want to just drop the phrase "plunged," etc., and say I especially like the first part today: "There one is immersed in the joy of the seeking."

The "there" in the sentence is "the path of love." So in the path of love one is immersed in the joy of the seeking.

For anyone goal oriented or task oriented, getting the task completed or the goal reached is the essential thing. Checklists and all that.

But the verse from Kabir speaks really of completing only in a sense -- which is how the "plunged" phrase would come in. Kabir finds but is joyous to seek. There's interaction everywhere in it, and I hate to sound like I'm separating things like in an analysis.

The lesson for me would be this, to quit feeling so disappointed in the seeking. That's where the joy is (too). And if that's what you've got anyway, why not let it be something of absolute joy, not disappointment. Disappointment, to the extent that it is consciously felt, is just looking for something other than what you have.

March March March

Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, I gotta march, march march...

I don't know why I'm sitting here like a slug, all consternated, all zapped out. That's not me. My biorhythms aren't meant to be out of whack. Though ten thousand fall at my right hand, it doth not come nigh me. What can you tell yourself?

What can you tell yourself? is a good question. Because there's always a kind of dialogue, or internal monologue that at the same time incorporates many voices, past expectations, present propaganda, and future hopes/fears, the whole thing.

When I get in a funk, it's time to get out. That's not you. That's every other idiot. Popping their pills, dozing off. For me it's raw, raw, raw. Live it till you hit the wall, then keep living it.

So here is my day's resolution, although delivered in the day getting on ... You will not be down. Being down is not an option. Be up, get going, crank it.

World's Ugliest Belly Button

I met a guy today who said he has the world's ugliest belly button. He got shot right there. I was expecting him to show it to me but he didn't. I was hoping to take a picture but I was feeling queasy, just in general, and didn't suggest it.

Career Builders Ad

I watched most of the ads on the Super Bowl, except whatever was playing when I was in the bathroom. And most of them were tolerable, but I have a few comments.

The one entirely intolerable ad this year was the one for Career Builders. It started and was disgusting from the get-go, then about 13-15 seconds into it I hit the mute button. That was the only one that got the mute tonight.

I thought hitting the mute at that point was a vain gesture, a worthless protest, but it turned out to be valuable. Because the commercial was a full minute -- it must have been, since it seemed to go on forever. Good riddance to that one, may it receive widespread shame.

The others? Some were a little too violent for my taste, people getting the crap beaten out of them. Some of them were too schmaltzy. For instance, I hate all of the Budweiser horse commercials, in which somewhere there's always a close-up of the horse's eye, meant to show his determination, a kind of pivot point in the ad where an important decision has to be made or an important move to influence the outcome has to be made. They're real likely ... and of course they always have a happy ending for the horse, but they're not satisfying (to me) on any level.

Horses don't run off and hunt for a denied love. Animals don't run away and live happily ever after. It's ridiculous.

Songs You Sang As A Child

The Pop Answers game -- at Facebook -- today was "Songs You Sang As A Child."

That's a toughie, because there are different songs for different generations. And if you grew up in a more religious household the songs will be different. Plus, song titles take a lot of typing, so if you don't type fast and get all the relevant words in there, you're going to get it wrong. Example, I put "Row Row Row" and that wasn't an answer, but "Row Row Row Your Boat" was right. So I can see it as a game today that is harder to get a high score on.

You need games with one or two word answers, not "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt"! I put "Skip To My Lou" but that wasn't an answer.

So you figure the right answers are songs, say, from when current 30-something people were kids, like "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "The Wheels On The Bus," both of which were right answers. So I didn't get very many. "Amazing Grace" wasn't a correct answer.

For my grandmother, it might have been "The Band Played On" or something old fashioned like that. The songs that you learned as a child ... depend!

A Beautiful Spiritual Accessory

Watching a little daytime TV today, which I simply don't do, I was amazed at some of the ads. They're very much like those little ads in the back of magazines come to life.

Zit medicine and novelty trinkets, including a cross necklace that has a tiny tiny version of the Lord's Prayer inside. Hold it up to your eye and you'll be stunned!

The phrase "spiritual accessory" was actually used to describe it. You too can have the Lord's Prayer close to your heart, as an external thing, dangling there, and always handy in case you forget what it says. You can lift it to your eye and read the little print.

Doctor's Appointment

It suddenly occurred to me that I have a doctor's appointment in the morning. It's one of those ones where I'm not supposed to eat anything after some particular time, maybe 6 p.m., I don't know for sure. Fasting, they call it. Which means I'll be super hungry tonight. Without the fasting rule, it wouldn't bother me as much.

If everything goes OK tomorrow, I'll be off the three month visit cycle and on to a six month cycle. That means the last couple times things have been going OK. So I'm happy about that and hope to keep it going tomorrow. I haven't been especially good when it comes to food and I haven't been especially bad. I just eat like normal. Except recently I've had eggs like three or four times a week, so I don't know if that'll show up as something bad. And bacon almost every morning, microwaved.

I feel about the same weight as usual, so hopefully that won't be an issue. And I've been exercising more or less faithfully, so I'll probably do OK on that.

Still, it's a drag to go to the doctor. The blood work, a terrible feeling. Peeing in a cup, probably, not a good thing, in my opinion.

3D Glasses

I saw people around with big sheets of 3D glasses and noticed there's going to be some special 3D thing on TV on Sunday, which may be nothing more than a commercial during the Super Bowl. Plus there's something about "Chuck," which might be a TV show, that's going to be in 3D.

I was at the store a couple of days ago, then, and saw a big box of the same 3D glasses and got myself a sheet of them, in case I happen to be watching when this event takes place. We like 3D.

But it seems kind of funny that we're so into 3D when it comes to wearing glasses and looking at it, but we're not into 3D just with our normal sight. Because everything around is 3D. You don't need glasses to see it in its full dimensions!

The beginning of my interest in 3D pictures started a long time ago, the '70s sometime when I got a book on old stereocards, which also came with a viewer and a pack of cards. Then I taped a couple of cameras together and went around clicking two buttons at the same time and making my own stereo images. The big trouble was it was hard to click the button exactly simultaneously, so sometime there'd be a delay and the two images would be a little off. Like if it was of a child playing, the hands would be moving. Even a little bit makes it noticeable when you're looking at a stereo picture.

The Trial

My days as a bail/bondsmen came to a head today with the trial. We sat waiting to see how things might transpire. It was interesting to a certain extent, but we were hoping it wouldn't be too interesting.

Some of the other cases made it look like justice at this level is the minimal fine in the absence of really extenuating circumstances. And that's the way it turned out.

I was enjoying certain aspects of it, but like always, wishing that things could move along a little faster. For instance, it's not something I've done before, to sit outside the courtroom and see the look of misery on people's faces for being there. That was interesting.

I saw one case resolved with a minimal sentence, simple assault, with a hundred dollars fine and continuation of the no-contact order. The two parties were in the hallway but never spoke. The woman looked sad about the whole thing. As she walked down the hallway after it was over, I summed it up, "Another love story ends."

As to getting my bond money back, I talked to the clerk and it will come to me as a check. But I might be using it to help pay the fine.

Bail Bondsman Date With History

My bail bondsman rendezvous with destiny is tomorrow. As you may recall, I was called upon, quite out of the blue, without warning or inkling, to provide a bond for some acquaintance who was hauled in to jail.

I didn't want to. I wouldn't want it to happen again. It is cash on the line, risked, and there's the possibility that more might fly out of my bank account, depending on how the system works exactly (I don't know), and whether the person shows up for her court date. There may be other complications, like if she does something untoward in court, which I'm not expecting.

The big day is tomorrow. I offered a ride to court, to make sure it all happens as it should. But she says she already has a ride. So naturally I'm hoping that the ride she has is someone dependable. The big element to that is that the ride doesn't have anything riding on this deal and I do.

Tomorrow. We shall see!

Sorry About That

I've been regretting yesterday's outburst against George W. Bush. Yes, he wasn't my favorite person. But also he's gone. There's no real reason to be venting my spleen against him now.

It's not healthy either to just be insulting and derogatory, even if in many ways he obviously deserves it and perhaps worse. I have to think of me, though, and my psychic health.

We'll try from now on looking ahead, not looking back. Being positive, not negative. And if the subject of George W. Bush comes up, which we hope it won't, we will gracefully bow out, biting our tongue (if that's what it takes), and head for the exit.

His reign, his regime as president was full of terrible things. We have been seriously riled up by him and his inability to serve as a president with any sense or decency. But aren't we only prolonging our agony unnecessarily by dwelling on him? This is a time for breathing, for a new start, not for lamentation and bile.

It feels good, really, to look ahead, and to let the past recede. That feeling is what we want and what we will seek as we press on into the future.

That Rubbish Called George W. Bush

Isn't it great to finally be rid of our National Joke, George W. Bush? Mr. Poking His Nose in Everyone's Business, Defaming and Trampling on the Constitution At Every Turn Bush?

I feel for President Obama, having still to deal with Human Scum (congressional Republicans), but everyone needs a devil. God made the actual devil, keeps him around. So apparently Republicans are going to be hard to exclude as well.

Yesterday it was reported that Obama had to tell these Wasteoids that he won the election and that things are going to happen with or without them. It's amazing to me that they think they can breeze in, having been crushed, and expect to continue with Bush's perverted policies.

As for the brush-cutting Bush, good for little else, I haven't heard much about him since his worthless speech the night of the Inauguration. And it'll be fine with me if it stays that way. We don't like you, we don't want you, stay gone.

We'll carry on with Obama, reversing some of Bush's ideological craziness and putting the Republicans in their place. Don't let them get you down. If you have to roll over them to govern in a common sense way, let 'em have it.

A Certified Letter - Part 2

Well, I was worried about my bail bondsman status (and possible penalty) for nothing, so far. The certified letter turned out to be unrelated to that. In fact, I heard from the person in question last night and was somewhat already assured that there was nothing in the works, known at least.

But still, I was up and it occurred to me about 8 a.m. again about the certified letter. So I hustled over to the post office, then had to stand in line behind someone with several eBay packages to process (just my luck), and finally got the letter. I saw the return address and realized immediately that it was business that was quite benign and unrelated to any personal issue. Someone had sent some checks and I'm the middleman to get them where they need to go. That's all.

But this had never happened before, and it's timing was curious, making it a realistic first guess that they could have been trying to notify me about the bond.

A Certified Letter

The other day I said I was suddenly a bail bondsman for some acquaintance. That was $100, but then when I later saw the form I signed (I'm not swearing to it but I believe this part wasn't written in at the time) there was a parenthetical part after the $100 that said $300 unsecured bond.

Today, then, I got a notice that I have a certified letter waiting at the post office. I didn't think much about it, but I suppose I should have. Because later it occurred to me that this might have something to do with that person's bond.

Coincidentally, I had a normal appointment with the acquaintance today but she wasn't there. Someone else told me where she supposedly was, but now I'm wondering, could she be in jail again? Assuming the worst, that she is in jail, that means the certified letter is going to be them telling me how much I owe, hopefully no more than $300, and that I should present myself with the cash.

I'll pick up the mail in the morning and I'm hoping it won't be that. But what else could it be? I don't get certified letters.

Debit Cards

I have entered the whole world of paying for things with my debit card. It's probably been about a year actually.

I'm still a little nervous about certain things. Sometimes it seems like they're running it through like a credit card. And I haven't set up the credit card account on it, so I don't know what would happen if that were to happen. I asked a clerk at one place if she was sure it was going to go through as a debit card and she couldn't guarantee it, so I didn't do it there.

Other places I've thought it was going to be OK, then I had second thoughts afterwards, but I've never had one show up as anything but a debit, so I guess my fears were all unfounded.

It's kind of weird at certain places, that you don't have to type in your PIN. McDonald's is that way. It just runs through and says approved. So I don't know why they have it different than the grocery store, except, that's just the way it is.

Another Speech By George W. Bush

I was clicking back and forth between MSNBC and CNN most of the day. If they got too pompous or too silly on one, I'd go to the other. Then if there was a commercial, back to the other.

There came a time or two when I checked out Fox, like if both the others were at commercials. I have a policy of avoiding Fox, and feel quite a bit happier for it.

Toward evening was one of these times, two commercials, so a quick peek at Fox, and who do they have but former President George W. Bush! I thought, that figures. We're finally shut of this crook and his travesty of a presidency, and what are they playing on Fox, but the same stinking guy!

Bush was giving a speech at Midland, Texas, having arrived there from his plane ride (escape) out of Washington. And he was burning down the barn, justifying himself, all to approving calls and applause. He wasn't apologetic for his eight years of criminal behavior, in fact he put quite the positive spin on it. It seems that he liberated 50,000,000 people. (Does anyone remember the build up to the Iraq war? Was it ever his aim to liberate people? Something about WMD, if I recall.)

Anyway, he had some humorous parts. Folksy stuff that the (probably handpicked) audience ate up. Like him tomorrow making coffee for Laura, part of his new "domestic agenda."

Uggh, why is this evil man on TV again? Please go away.

Very Prickly Copy Protection

I got a CD secondhand yesterday, even though it wasn't open, that has very stringent, strict copy protection.

Even though it comes with plenty of warnings that it can't be ripped, I stuck it in the computer to see, and sure enough, it came up with numerous screen notices (Media Monkey did, that is) telling me it couldn't be done.

It's by an Indian guy named Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. I never heard of him either, but a perusal of the internet shows he is well known in some circles. It's an album called "Gems From A Genius."

The CD was made in India, and, as I said, it is severely copy protected. It tells you right on the cover by the hinge. Then on the back cover, giving warnings that it might encounter problems playing on your player. And inside is a card that describes all that you can and cannot expect from this precious CD, including:

It can't be burnt onto a CD-R or hard disk. It can't be converted into MP3 files. It might not play in the following players: Some that have the capability of burning into an MP3. Some that posses CD-R/RW functions. Some car stereos with satellite "Guidance" systems. Some players with hard disk recording capability. Some portable players. Some DVD players. Some CD/LD convertible players. Some game players. Maybe not your computer. (For your computer it has some built in player that is meant to autoplay, but there's no guarantee it will work.)

Ha ha, what a ridiculous thing! They sell CDs and they're afraid you might actually want to listen to it!

Civic Compliments

Once in a while I find myself in a situation where I have to hew right down the middle of the road, such as speaking about civic duty, then being complimentary to all mainstream political persuasions.

You see this on TV, or it will come up at the Inauguration, for example, where someone has to pay tribute to political opponents. Maybe it's like we used to hear about professional wrestlers. They may be trying to kill each other in the ring, but outside they're having coffee and inquiring about the kids. We do see it in Congress, "My esteemed colleague and good friend from Alabama."

It's a tough thing to do, let's say if the subject happens to be George W. Bush. But you know Obama's going to have good things to say about Bush. You have to. It stinks but many necessary jobs stink.

So what can you say about Bush in a complimentary way without getting in too deep or being too much of a liar? I almost Googled it to find out, because I'm nearly at a loss. He loves his wife? He loves his country? He lead us through tough times? He made tough decisions?

Minimal Music, Sound

I've gotten a couple of albums in the last day or so, stuff somewhat off the beaten track. Probably the soundtrack from Slumdog Millionaire is on the beaten track, actually, but it's not on the usual beaten track I follow.

I haven't seen the movie yet, but read about it, and it sounds fairly cool. I like things that have to do with India, and checked out the samples before getting it. I have a couple M.I.A. albums already, so to have another copy of "Paper Planes" was not the point. There is an alternate version on there, which sounds good. That makes a second alternate version for me, since when I first bought the song I didn't check it out adequately and ended up with a remix.

I've listened to the soundtrack once so far ... and the tunes have a cool India vibe. More background music for me while doing other things, reading.

The other album, which I just discovered searching for other things, was "Involution" by Aurobindo. This would be classified as ambient, minimal music maybe. It's a lot of sound tones, various modulations that I believe has some sort of human creativity guiding them. They also make for something good for not occupying your mind and yet perhaps provoking some unknown thoughts in there. I'm thinking that I want things that give rise to thoughts or dreams without telling the content of those things.

I got a little bonus in checking this one out. At one of the musician's websites, DeHoen (?), he has a couple extra tracks relating to the "Involution" album. So I got those for free. They're there for free downloading anyway.

The other tracks were downloaded from Amazon. This weekend the Slumdog soundtrack is a $5 download.

The Natural Enquirer

I was watching some sharks on TV yesterday at Walmart. On high def TV, and the picture was pretty good. Sharks right in your face. And the intensity, concentration, and skill that the naturalists (swimmers) had was more boldly pronounced as well.

The whole thing of standing there reminded me of what my dad used to say about when TVs were first on sale. That people would stand by the store window watching. Well, I'm less of an enthralled viewer probably than they were back then, since we've all grown up with TV, but it does catch your attention when you see a picture so clear and up close. Engaging, yes, but I don't go to Walmart to watch TV per se.

They have lots of this stuff on TV, but I haven't got time to sit and watch TV anyway, whether I had high def or not. Plus, it's not just sharks that sometimes take an arm and a leg, but the cable TV companies as well. Every time I look at my bill it's gone up another dollar or so. Two years ago I know it was in the 85-dollar range, but the latest was over $100, and I haven't added any features or options. For me to get high def at this point, I'd have to waste a lot more time sitting by the TV to pay for it, and I know I wouldn't be any happier.

But this post is supposed to be about The Natural Enquirer, a scandal sheet for animals. Sharks, yes, they have plenty of scandal to talk about. I see one bit a kid's leg just the other day. Dogs walking by the house, not picking up their droppings. Just pooping on mother earth and letting it go.

The Look

On American Idol, as in everyday life, I'm always on the prowl (not exactly) for people with "The Look." Not that I'm going to do anything about it, going up to them and telling them I'm going to make you a star... I like to see people with "The Look," even if it's only in passing.

For me the Look is the look of something individual, eclectic, electrifying, a touch of weirdness yet with confidence and something interesting going on. As for me, though, personally, I don't have The Look whatsoever. I've never had it really -- maybe un peu in high school, but now I'm withered, with strange tufts and balding, and getting wrinkled. If I were a bluesman, I'd be in my element, except I'm not that either!

When I see the Look, which is hardly ever, it's captivating. But you don't want to look at the Look very long or reality will catch up with you. Real life has a way of taking everyone down a few pegs. Still, and they're few and far between, once in a while you see something in people that's very spiritual, a spark.

A Bail Bondsman

You have one of those nights where it seems like everything's normal. Then the phone rings and some acquaintance is in trouble, in jail, and chose YOU to help them get out.

That happened to me tonight. Yuckus!

The jail official told me they accepted cash. And they had a heck of a policy for making you wait out in the cold. Then telling you it'd be so long till they sprung the person, then shooting over that by 10 to 15 minutes.

It's an absurd system.

Now I have to hope this person makes the court date, or my money's down the drain. Lucky me.

American Idol Starts Tonight

I'll probably watch it. I'm debating watching it.

Last year it seemed to drag somewhat. Someone was talking about how media savvy the contestants were, and adept at not doing weird things to give themselves bad publicity. But we want drama, mistakes, blowups, then also the super performances.

They've got some different things going this year, including a new judge. Plus, it appears, there are a few more landmines for the contestants, which I hope will make for more drama.

I'm hoping to go out to eat, which might mean watching it later. That's part of the reason I wouldn't watch it, the waste of time it is when it's all said and done.

Blizzard Conditions

There's blizzard conditions out tonight, especially in the country. I haven't been there but I experienced it last year, and today looks like that.

We had total whiteout conditions, going like about 5 mph on the highway and sometimes zero. There were wrecks, crazy winds, drifts, the works. It was one of the worst experiences of my life.

It just so happened we pulled into some little town and there was a little motel, like five or six rooms total. And we happened to get one. There wasn't even an attendant there. You call on a phone and she tells you to go into the room and in the morning leave your money on the desk. Small. But it was our salvation that night.

That was a very cold night, like way below zero. We had the dog with us and I kept taking it out so she wouldn't pee on the carpet. I assured the lady on the phone things would be OK. My tire looked like it was getting low. I was freaking out. Unnecessarily, as most freaking out is unnecessary, since the tire was going to do what it was going to do. But a mechanic said it was from the extremely cold temperatures, probably.

We made it out the next day, made it home. But I'm glad tonight that I'm already home. And not out on the road!

Birthdays

My mom's birthday is today, my daughter's is tomorrow, mine is the next day. We have that clump every time of course. It's like running the gauntlet.

I have an uncle whose birthday was yesterday. I don't see him much anymore but it used to be clumped together with mine and my mom's, before the daughter and when we were more local and younger.

My daughter's birthday is her 31st, and I know she's counting off the seconds till it. We take our birthdays seriously. I still like mine. I don't mind getting old. I don't know why anyone would. It's nothing you have any control over.

The only person I ever held it against them how old they were was John McCain. And that was all fake. Except, realistically, you want to have a president who's on top of his or her game. If all he wanted to be was senator, do it as long as you want as far as I'm concerned.

The Heroic Bear

Another of the Animal Planet stories came to me. And I didn't see any of this one, because I was sitting on a couch and the TV was aimed the other direction.

It involved a she bear who took on a he bear in a fight to protect her baby bears. How little they were, I don't know, I guess it doesn't matter. I wasn't listening closely to the lead up on the story. But it appears that the he bear was trying to get the baby bears, and the mother fought him and threw him down an embankment of some sort.

They obviously had it on video, because whoever had witnessed it was going on what a great "shot" they got, like one in a million.

Here's where it got schmaltzy, and in my opinion ... objectionable. The mother bear was described as a "perfect mother" and even "heroic" in her "willingness" to protect those babes, "willing" to kill him or be killed to make sure they were OK.

What I object to is all that. Being a "perfect mother," being a "hero," having a "will" to give up her life for their sake. It seems to me that if you run an entire channel called ANIMAL PLANET that you ought to have some sense of ANIMALS, and not be projecting our own altruistic ideals on to them. At that level, it would seem, it's all instinct and circumstances, not heroism, not trying to live up to the standard of motherhood that we have as our sentiment, or the exercise of a will, i.e., judging a certain set of circumstances and saying it will take this or that kind of "will" to get a particular end accomplished.

It was so sentimental, so schmaltzy, that it became clear that the Animal Planet channel is simply the People Planet channel that happens to feature animals to make us feel good. Instinct is what their focus should be.

Stung By Over 500 Bees

I don't usually watch the Animal Planet channel, except when it's on and the other person doesn't want to change the channel. The combination of the Crocodile Hunter and endless episodes of sick dogs and cats being rescued from squalor is enough to make me vomit.

Late this afternoon, though, I'm at the hospital, visiting someone's room, and what had to be on but the Animal Planet channel! The show was something about Animal Stories Extreme, a Marlin that jumps up and stabs a guy, a pelican dangling in midair by a fishhook, a dog in icy waters that bites his rescuer on the face, and a woman who was stung by over 500 bees while mowing her yard.

Good grief, stung by over 500 bees. They were in her mouth, in her clothes, all over her. It's enough to keep me in nightmares for the next 10 years. This is part of the reason I hate that channel.

But, I was thinking, I suppose if you can stand 350-400 stings, the last hundred has to be easy. Also, by the way, this would be the perfect premise (although very cliched) for her to be the Bee Lady with superpowers.

No More Bananas

Here's a troubling story, that there's some danger to the banana, based on what? Disease or something. I read through part of the article but had to take off.

I hope we find some way of saving the banana, if indeed it is in danger. I know it shows up in the South Beach Diet book as something you shouldn't eat, but still, they're quick, they're delicious, and we like them.

I've got one setting right here by my desk. It's a Del Monte, raised in Guatemala. I just wish they would come up with a way for them not to turn brown so fast.

I saw another weird banana story the other day, I believe in American Profile magazine. It's a supplement that comes with the newspaper. It was about a lady who collects banana stickers. Which you wouldn't think there'd be that many different varieties of. But she has around 7,500 different ones! She takes them off, soaks off the glue somehow, then collects them in books. She even said she's been known to go to a store, buy bananas, take off the stickers, and give the bananas back to the store.

This Del Monte banana has a nice sticker, a #4011 sticker with a sort of UPC code (not exactly). I don't think I'll save it.

My Dog

My dog growls in her sleep once in a while. She's dozing in the hallway and she just now did a very low volume growl. She also kicks her feet at times and makes little yips, like she's barking in her dreams but all that's coming through is this pipsqueak yip.

She's part Pomeranian, so she's not big. She just thinks she's big. Except she has a lot of fear of things outside. You wouldn't know it as aggressive as she seems.

A couple nights ago I saw something weird on the sidewalk when I took her out. It was over where we don't usually go, but I saw it over there. It looked like maybe a bunch of leaves, or a bunched up shirt, or something. It was moving because it was a windy night. But it had a way of moving like it had a will of its own. I was hoping there wasn't a crippled squirrel in there somewhere, maybe tangled up. It didn't really seem like it had that much will, but whatever it was, the swirling wind patterns, perhaps, this piece would stretch out, this other bit would rotate.

I was looking over at it with interest. The dog either noticed me looking at it or happened to notice it for herself. She stood erect in its direction and was barking, like she was bold. But then I decided we should walk over by it and figure out the mystery, what it was. The dog became more and more reticent as we got closer. Like she thought it was a living thing, too. Then when it seemed like I was going to press on all the way to it, getting closer, my dog pulled the leash the opposite direction and let out the scariest primal barking/moaning I've ever heard from her. More a bark than a moan, but full of anguish and dread. Of course I turned and we went the opposite direction.

When we went out in the morning there wasn't anything over there that was unusual. In the general vicinity I saw what looked like a cottage cheese container, and nearby also a yogurt container. But whether they were part of anything that could be moving and swirling, I guess I'll never know.

I was describing it to someone just like here and she noted the word "primal" in my description, to which I said they obviously have responses built in that are not normally used in everyday life, till an unusual threat arises.

AVI Frames

I recently got a small video camera. I've taken a few videos. I haven't come up with a good way to snap frames off it, or, better yet, to extract all frames.

I have Infranview, which has a feature built in for this very task. Except for me they all come out black. I checked around on the internet and someone recommended turning off all video acceleration, which is an easy enough thing to do. But it didn't do any good.

Once in a while, when manually snapping a picture with Capture software, I get part of a frame, just part.

The video comes with Flip-something, a piece of crap bit of software and only reads videos from the camera and not off the harddrive, seems like it to me. It has a way of snapping one picture at a time but not a hundred or a thousand.

I used to do this all the time seven or eight years ago. I had a Ulead (?) gif animator and it could do stuff like that.

Progresso Soup

I bought around 20 cans of Progresso Light Beef Pot Roast soup the other day. I've never bought that much soup in my life.

I picked up a can one night and it tasted delicious. So I thought next time I went to the store I'd get a few more cans. I started stacking them in the cart and couldn't stop. I took almost every one they had except for three or four.

Now I've got a pantry with a bunch of soup cans prominent on the shelf. We've had maybe four or five cans since, and I gave one away. I hope I don't get sick of it till it's gone.

Hinder - Extreme Behavior

I got the Hinder CD "Extreme Behavior" at Goodwill yesterday. I like the song "Lips of an Angel," and thought a dollar was a good deal for the whole CD.

I was surprised then to read the bad review of the album at All Music. One and a half stars and taking them to task for whatever, for being guys with hormones I guess.

But I was playing it as background music while doing something else and it sounded pretty good. I wasn't paying close attention though, or filtering it through extraordinary sensibilities.

Great cover! I didn't know the album was so old, 2005. Since I was just hearing "Lips of an Angel" on the radio recently. Shows what I know.

I also heard a country version of "Lips of an Angel" but can't remember who the singer was.

Shower Video

With my new video camera I can't think of too much to video. Pets are only so entertaining. Eventually I'm going to have to leave the house.

Yesterday I wondered what it'd look like to video myself taking a shower. From the waist up, of course. So I set the camera up here somewhere and tried to forget it was there, which I didn't manage.

I did everything quicker, undressing, getting in, stayed in less time, etc., so it'd be a shorter, more contained production. Somehow I managed to keep it all waist-up, even when in the shower. So I'm able to keep it on my hard drive, which I wouldn't want to do if I was overly exposed.

A couple of observations. I'm freaked out about my appearance. I thought I looked terrible. I've never observed myself from some of these angles, and it wasn't appealing. Plus, you can really see through the shower door. I didn't know that 100%.

I was pretty much humorless doing it. As stated, I was trying to forget the camera was there, which meant not a lot of mugging, grinning, talking. So I look like a task-oriented stoic, getting my clothes off very fast, getting in, getting out, all business. It'd be more entertaining to be singing in the shower or something.

Computer Down

My doctor's computer's down, so they don't know if you have an appointment today or not. If I drop dead, they won't know till the computer's up and running.

What about old Doc Hill, in the old building downtown, upstairs, with his name printed on the window? And a horse and buggy tied outside. He was keeping track of his patients all the time, at least giving them a bullet to bite on while they suffered. Didn't have a computer.

There was a prophecy told me by your average Radio Shack employee once, probably 1982 (thereabouts), that one day we'll all need a computer. At the time I was thinking of what computers were generally to be used for, as foretold in magazines of the time, which was keeping track of recipes and ... I think that was it. I doubted the guy's word.

Now I don't know if I have a doctor's appointment or not. I did have a hard copy, the card they give you at the time. But I lost it, no backup.

Older

Everyone's older today, being New Year's Day.

I got a camera after Christmas, a video camera, Flip Ultra. It's nice and easy to use. But it shows how very old I'm getting. I set it on an exercise machine and was videoing my face as I did the thing. Then I looked at part of it. Very wrinkly, I'm getting, no joke.

I need to do something about stress. Stress is destroying what appearance I ever had. I sort of feel like I'm on top of it, but that's not true. Anyway, that's a video I don't want to see very often!

When A Person Is Precious

I described someone today -- searching for the right word -- as "precious," and the woman I was talking to, the daughter of the person being described, said, that was "the right word" to describe her with. Which made me feel good. I had those few seconds and could have blown it royally.

What "precious" means in this case is almost an intuitive leap. Someone off the beaten path yet with enough remaining style and eclat (that's a word, I think) and approachability to be "dear," yet maybe not so much as to be universally acclaimed as such.

I myself don't volunteer too much, but I try to give bursts of that sort of thing. Just don't hang around more than 10 seconds or it will either evaporate or wear thin. I detect it in others, but seldom enough that it's worth a comment.

Take a Loadoff

Are you tired, dead tired, feeling withdrawn, lacking the energy to go on?

Take a Loadoff.

Loadoff is non-habit forming, safe and effective, recommended by three out of four doctors. And the fourth doctor's a wreck.

BREAKING: Deputy and Two Dogs

I see a disconnect from what's important on CNN. They're showing a few minutes of a Joe Biden speech. He's telling a pleasant anecdote about himself and John McCain, then he starts getting fired up, attacking the Republicans with some red meat, and guess what --

We're breaking away at this point for a story about a deputy somewhere who may or may not have killed two dogs.

Let me make it perfectly clear, I'm not saying there's something wrong with our media and their priorities. But maybe the dog story belongs on Animal Planet. Just saying.

Six Months or Last Minute

This blog post raises an excellent point regarding McCain's vetting process for a vice presidential running mate.

John McCain clinched his party's nomination all the way back on March 4. He's had six months to carefully select and vet a running mate, and what did he do? He waited until the absolute last moment - until Obama made his move - and then acted in a purely reactionary fashion. He made his selection rashly, on a whim.

The man had six months to get the job done. And he waited until the absolute last minute to throw something together.

The blog post quoted was written by someone called "EarlG." EarlG states the case perfectly: McCain "made his selection rashly, on a whim."

John McCain has very bad judgment and is not fit to be President of the United States.

Skateboarding to the Left, to the Right

I should never have commented on the jumping skateboard boys. Now that I've commented, I'm seeing them everywhere. They're even vanishing on me!

Last night I came around the corner and there was a couple of boys doing the traditional skateboard straight-up jump, failing to make a nice landing, as usual. I got right to the garage, got my cell phone out, I was going to snap a picture of them through the garage window, and they were gone. Within 30 seconds! I went running to the front door and out. I looked up the street, down the street, across the street, and even over on a different street. But they had vanished. It was weird.

Since then, I saw another kid somewhere else today, doing the flipping into the air thing, without success. And lastly, so far lastly, I happened to be looking across the road and there was two more boys (or maybe it was one) flipping it into the air, then tipping it up at a 45 degree angle.

They're everywhere!

More Skateboarding

I chanced to observe another earnest kid, a teenager, working at his skateboard. Kind of hunching, hulking over it, his head down, eyes trained on the board, then doing his best to flip it up in the air, turn it over, or whatever.

It looked like an unsuccessful attempt, but I only could see one attempt while driving by.

Skateboarding

I saw something amazing today, something I'm glad I lived long enough to see. And in a way I saw it twice, but let's just go with the first one first:

I saw a kid on a skateboard who seemed to be using it as a means of transportation. That is, he was going from here to somewhere else, in a straight line, on a course that, if pursued, would get him there.

This is amazing for obvious reasons. As we all know, skateboards were apparently made for simply standing on and trying to flip over, or to jump curbs. That's about all you ever see anyway, kids endlessly trying and failing, trying and failing, then occasionally succeeding, to flip it over and remain upright.

The other incident -- and this isn't as rare -- was a kid on one of those two wheel skateboards, which must be fairly new -- new to me -- and he also was going from one place to another. But these look like they're designed more for getting around, and they look like they ride in a smoother way.

Later in the day, then, my normal sensibilities were restored, when I was driving along and saw a kid with a skateboard. He waited for me to pass, then I looked in the rearview mirror in time to see him standing on it and trying to flip it over. Of course he failed.

Gitmo: Nice Play to Live

Senility Alert #7452:

During a question-and-answer session with Walter Isaacson today, Sen. John McCain said Guantanamo Bay is “one of the nicest places in the world to live in.”

Let's see, a detention camp, barbed wire, a little cell, no way out... Yes, that sounds most pleasant.

Spiritual/Political Absurdities

We find it hard to believe these things are being discussed as though any of it makes any rational sense whatsoever:

John McCain's campaign ad "The One" has generated a lot of buzz regarding the "Left Behind Series." Political commentators are comparing McCain's portrayal of competitor Barack Obama with the blockbuster apocalyptic series' depiction of the antichrist. But even the series authors Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins don't think Obama is the antichrist. What may have been created as a farce has generated a firestorm of controversy on the internet.

"I can see by the language he uses why people think he could be the antichrist," adds LaHaye, "but from my reading of scripture, he doesn't meet the criteria. There is no indication in the Bible that the antichrist will be an American."

The article goes on to consider seriously the fictional Antichrist character of the "Left Behind" books, as though there could be any clue there about Obama. Look through history; the track record on identifying "the Antichrist" is so far a big fat zero.

This is simply stunning stuff for the ignorance of it all. If there's ever a book called "The Decline and Fall of the United States of America," by one of Gibbon's descendants, there will surely be a chapter on this kind of thing!

UPDATE: The actual truth, of course, is that Ronald Reagan faked his death, and is even now in an underground lair in California, directing world events. He is the true Antichrist, twisting knobs at a big media console, planting devious thought seeds in every enemy of the good. He wears a helmet sort of like the one Ming wears in Buck Rogers movies.

Horray for Mike Myers!

McCain featured Dana Carvey and Mike Myers in a scene from Wayne's World ("We're not worthy") in one of his scurvy ads.

Myers' people called and threatened McCain with legal action unless they took it down. They did, and released an edited version.

What really is wrong with this twerp, McCain? Can't he be a serious candidate, and let us know his serious plans for the country? What positive reason would anyone have to vote for him? He's simply worthless in every way.

Horray for Mike Myers! Except if I have the bucks these guys have, I don't threaten, know what I mean?

Cokie Roberts Thinks Hawaii is "Foreign"

A tip of the hat to "Hope Reborn's" diary at Daily Kos, with some great pictures.

John McCain has been trying to paint true American Barack Obama as "foreign," and now he's getting some help from Cokie Roberts. Obama was born in Hawaii and went there for his vacation. He has family there. She calls this a bad move, because Hawaii is "foreign."

So, one of the United States is actually foreign? 50 states, right? 50 stars on the flag, right? All about the same size? Not 49 regular stars and one tiny one with an asterisk. This is absurd.

"Hope Reborn" has some great pictures, videos, and things, including one of a memorial to Pearl Harbor. You might recall, Pearl Harbor wasn't "foreign" in 1941. We went to war right after it was attacked.

Cokie, such a tool.

First to Know

I'm going to be "the first to know" who Sen. Obama chooses to be his running mate. True story.

Barack Obama is about to make one of the most important decisions of this campaign -- choosing a running mate.

You have helped build this movement from the bottom up, and Barack wants you to be the first to know his choice.

This is going to be exciting, I hope. I'll be walking around with this knowledge and everyone will be going, "So who was it?" But of course I can keep a secret, so my lip's zipped.

If I ever choose to reveal it to the world, please check back here because this is where I will post it, if I ever do.

Or, I guess -- and this won't be as fun for me -- you can click the link and also be the "first to know."

8-8-8

How big a deal is 08-08-08? I guess it isn't really a big deal.

Unless Nostradamus said something about it. Did he?

It's just a nice coming together of digits, with several arbitrary elements. But it's OK. Eight has to be one of the fattest feeling numbers, plump on the bottom, equally plump on top. It's a very feminine number, the curvy look. What other things could be said for it? It seems like the number of "too much" or "an added bonus." If you think of seven as the number of completion -- which is the way it's referred to a lot -- eight is one more, therefore a bonus.

You can roll in on all eights, flip 'em over and roll back out!

The Polyphonic Spree

Have you ever heard the song, "Section 10 (A Long Day)" by The Polyphonic Spree?

I had never heard it before, and was listening to the album while writing a blog post. Since I'm basically concentrating on writing that -- the article "I'm Withholding Judgment," on John Edwards having or maybe not having a love child -- I'm not paying strict attention to this track playing in my earbuds.

It's fine as background, then I start to notice that it's going on for a while, and that it's a lot of prolonged, mechanical sounding tones played without a lot of variance and melody. So I look at the CD cover and it's timed at 36:30! That's interesting.

There's like 26 or 29 people in this group, but I don't think they all had a part in this track.

It doesn't sound like a track for listening to if you're just listening to songs. But if you're doing something else, it's kind of a nice! I heard the whole thing, which might not happen that often.

McCain AWOL Since April, Wants Congress to "Work"

Let's see, if you're a senator who hasn't been at your job in Congress literally since last April, and it's now August, maybe you're the last guy who should be insisting that Congress get back to work!

The Next Cheney

The Democratic party is getting ready for John McCain's veep pick. There's a website in advance of the announcement, called "The Next Cheney."

Included there is a rogue's gallery of some of the possibilities. Whether any of them would ever live down to Dick Cheney's abysmal standards, I hope we never have to find out. It's a scary prospect, though, something best left to stories told around the bonfire at Halloween.

And speaking of Halloween, there's an interesting quote over there that really just about puts the last nail in the coffin of whatever was left alive of McCain's judgment. "With a little more luck, I might have been able to ask you to be my Vice-President." — John McCain to Dick Cheney, 10/23/01.

Please join me in a horrified cry: "God forbid that John McCain ever becomes president!"

Don't falme me pleas

That's funny, a pathetic little nothing of a diary, by Joan Evan.

But this part makes it worthwhile, a true LOL moment:

"Don't falme me pleas"

Merry Christmas

Well, it's August! So let me be the first to wish you a Merry Christmas.

It is a blessed time of year, certainly, and it revives the ancient hope that all of us have, of "Peace on Earth, good will toward men."

And it also has its fun side -- no big secret there -- since most of us have great memories of what we're going to get, what Santa has put in our little sock, and of the family meal and gathering. And who can forget visions of sugarplums?

May all the joy of the holidays be yours this year, from my family to yours! Merry Christmas, everyone!